Haha! I did it! I out-Japanesed a Japanese person! Wow, this feels so good, let me just bask in this glory. Ahhh feels good.
My supervisor just came back, and he's wearing a short-sleeved work-shirt. Oh, and what's this? Cool-biz ended yesterday. He totally got asked "Aren't you cold today in that short-sleeve shirt?"
You don't understand, this is the equivalent of "Tomorrow, wear long-sleeves." The actual temperature (currently perfect, maybe high 60's) has no bearing on the comment. It's how Japanese culture works, nice and indirect.
And, who is wearing a long-sleeve shirt and tie, on this first day of non-cool biz. Why, that would be moi ;).
Actually just had a 5 minute conversation with my supervisor. He was worried that I would be getting paid for helping out at the Takko Beef and Garlic Festival this weekend. It turns out that it looks bad if civil servants are paid for helping out. Or, we are only supposed to have one job, and having another would look back upon the system. Or, something to that effect.
Either way, it doesn't matter, as I'm not getting paid, except maybe in delicious food.
Well, I have to be up for my 5:30am pickup tomorrow morning to help out. Oh, the things we do for beef and garlic.
またね。
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Quick Thoughts
Here are some quick thoughts- like lightning!
-I hiked Nakuidake last weekend with Matt and Andy. It was great fun. It took us 4.5 hours and we saw EVERYTHING. I'm really glad we ignored the guide who said it's 50 minutes to the top and then we're done.
-I read some reviews for False Priest, the new Of Montreal album. I disagree with the reviews that said, and I quote: "Barnes' lyrics remain a stumbling block," and "...mainly because the lyrics are simply too dense and abstract to enjoy in this setting." No. No, no, no. Intelligent, dense lyrics are no reason to dislike music. In fact, it makes music MORE enjoyable. I thoroughly enjoyed the nods to Greek and Nordic mythology in Of Montreal's previous albums. It raises the level of music to give a line or two to sing about Tristan and Isolde to describe one's sadness without actually saying "I'm sad." Intelligent music is a way to fight against the bevy of sugar-pop and gangster-rap lyrics that saturate the airwaves. You should be giving them points, reviewers, not taking points away.
-Politics. Ugh. I read sections of "A Pledge to America" earlier today. Distorted facts, ignoring evidence, and quoting things from a year ago that have changed- these are things I've come to expect, which, in itself, is quite terrifying. If this system were to act as it should, this shouldn't be popping up, much less be expected by a citizen. But, I expect it, and learn to ignore it. Both sides are going to ignore facts (or make them up out of thin air- going to factcheck.org is quite fun). But what really angered me was that there were NO concrete plans. Just vague ambiguities, like:
"• Cut Congress’ Budget: This year, Congress increased its own budget by 5.8 percent at a time when families and small businesses across the country are cutting back. We will make Congress do more with less by significantly reducing its budget. "
That's it. That is what sickens me. Putting up a series of vague promises on what you will do. Maybe I'm too concrete, or too details-oriented. I need to know how and what the plan is.
-I hiked Nakuidake last weekend with Matt and Andy. It was great fun. It took us 4.5 hours and we saw EVERYTHING. I'm really glad we ignored the guide who said it's 50 minutes to the top and then we're done.
-I read some reviews for False Priest, the new Of Montreal album. I disagree with the reviews that said, and I quote: "Barnes' lyrics remain a stumbling block," and "...mainly because the lyrics are simply too dense and abstract to enjoy in this setting." No. No, no, no. Intelligent, dense lyrics are no reason to dislike music. In fact, it makes music MORE enjoyable. I thoroughly enjoyed the nods to Greek and Nordic mythology in Of Montreal's previous albums. It raises the level of music to give a line or two to sing about Tristan and Isolde to describe one's sadness without actually saying "I'm sad." Intelligent music is a way to fight against the bevy of sugar-pop and gangster-rap lyrics that saturate the airwaves. You should be giving them points, reviewers, not taking points away.
-Politics. Ugh. I read sections of "A Pledge to America" earlier today. Distorted facts, ignoring evidence, and quoting things from a year ago that have changed- these are things I've come to expect, which, in itself, is quite terrifying. If this system were to act as it should, this shouldn't be popping up, much less be expected by a citizen. But, I expect it, and learn to ignore it. Both sides are going to ignore facts (or make them up out of thin air- going to factcheck.org is quite fun). But what really angered me was that there were NO concrete plans. Just vague ambiguities, like:
"• Cut Congress’ Budget: This year, Congress increased its own budget by 5.8 percent at a time when families and small businesses across the country are cutting back. We will make Congress do more with less by significantly reducing its budget. "
That's it. That is what sickens me. Putting up a series of vague promises on what you will do. Maybe I'm too concrete, or too details-oriented. I need to know how and what the plan is.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
2nd Year, Done
Hey guys,
I officially have been here for 2 years. Woohoo! *Balloons and confetti fly down from the ceiling above my desk* It's official, I got my paper today, a contract for the renewal of my position. Man, in a year, it'll be 3 years here. It's hard to believe, but it's true. Well, thanks for reading this. Now, I don't want to waste any more time- between studying, looking at options for my future, and reading up on Starcraft 2, I've quite busy, even though it's all office days here.
See you!
Greg
I officially have been here for 2 years. Woohoo! *Balloons and confetti fly down from the ceiling above my desk* It's official, I got my paper today, a contract for the renewal of my position. Man, in a year, it'll be 3 years here. It's hard to believe, but it's true. Well, thanks for reading this. Now, I don't want to waste any more time- between studying, looking at options for my future, and reading up on Starcraft 2, I've quite busy, even though it's all office days here.
See you!
Greg
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Lol is for Lolita
The automatic text predictor on my computer is helpful when typing Japanese. But when it comes to English...I get some weird things. The first suggestion it gives with typing "lol-" is "LOLITA." There's already a stereotype that asian men are perverted. This doesn't help.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Like an Album's Filler Song
Hey guys,
I'm moving apartments! Ever since my explode-y shower has been unreliable, starting in January, I have been going to the gym shower and the onsen. Because of this, I am moving to the apartment building across from me. It is exactly the same as the place I'm in now, plus or minus some interesting developments. Plus: The view is nicer. Minus: I haven't found a place I can hook up my washing machine. Plus: I just cleaned it with my friends, so it's probably a lot cleaner than my current apartment. Minus: There's someone next door, who's living room and bedroom are flush against mine. I've got to finish packing up my old stuff and moving it. I have until next Monday. Oy vey. ね。
Not much else to write about. It's getting warmer and warmer. I'm looking forward to Cool Biz soon. Then I can stop wearing these long-sleeved shirts.
I wanted to write something clever for you. It's just not meant to be. I'll let you know when it omes ;).
I'm moving apartments! Ever since my explode-y shower has been unreliable, starting in January, I have been going to the gym shower and the onsen. Because of this, I am moving to the apartment building across from me. It is exactly the same as the place I'm in now, plus or minus some interesting developments. Plus: The view is nicer. Minus: I haven't found a place I can hook up my washing machine. Plus: I just cleaned it with my friends, so it's probably a lot cleaner than my current apartment. Minus: There's someone next door, who's living room and bedroom are flush against mine. I've got to finish packing up my old stuff and moving it. I have until next Monday. Oy vey. ね。
Not much else to write about. It's getting warmer and warmer. I'm looking forward to Cool Biz soon. Then I can stop wearing these long-sleeved shirts.
I wanted to write something clever for you. It's just not meant to be. I'll let you know when it omes ;).
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Backstreet's back, all right!
Now, to interrupt the long delay between posts with this important update:
I was at school yesterday, going to the lunchroom. I got in line with the other students. I took my milk, my soup bowl, and I was reaching for a bowl of rice- one of the ones filled to the brim with rice-y goodness, but before I could grab it, the lunch-lady said
"Here, take this one, it's for you," and proceeded to hand me a bowl less than half-filled. I looked down in wonder, and my stomach growled in confused hatred for this tragic turn of events.
I don't know if I looked confused, or if the lunch-lady was just so darned proud of herself, because she went on to say:
"I gave you less than the boys," and smiled.
"Wh-wh-why?" I stammered.
"It was said that you don't eat much."
WHAT?! ME?! Is that the punchline to a joke or something? Or maybe one of the teachers thinks I'm fat and I should try and watch my weight? What is this cruel joke? I couldn't believe it, just couldn't believe it.
As you might imagine, my voice, which I am convinced came straight from my stomach (and hence the bad Japanese that followed)
immediately said something to the effect of "No, wait, no, I like to eat. I am able to eat a lot. I always eat."
"Oh, next time I will you extra"
"Yes, yes, please, thank you."
Crisis, possibly ended.
Yes, I came back to my blog to write about that.
Let's see, what else would you probably like to know? I sent in my taxes. Woot? I don't really mind paying taxes (well, easy to say when I get foreign residence exclusion). But really, when it goes towards things like police, who keep me safe, fire departments, who keep my burnable objects from destroying me, and education, which attempts to make me smarter, I'm ok with it. Yeah, the agencies themselves aren't perfect, there is waste, squalor, and corruption- but until we live in a world where psychology meta-analyses (fyi, I just had to add "analyses" to this computer's dictionary) can strongly govern the way in which we do things, we'll just have inefficient agencies running things, and people yelling that they are inefficient while they are proposing their own inefficient version of how things should be done. Wow, sounding a little pessimistic there, ね.
Umm, guess I'll stop there. I've got some studying to do, as always. Looking forward to this new word list I compiled. 行くぞ！
I was at school yesterday, going to the lunchroom. I got in line with the other students. I took my milk, my soup bowl, and I was reaching for a bowl of rice- one of the ones filled to the brim with rice-y goodness, but before I could grab it, the lunch-lady said
"Here, take this one, it's for you," and proceeded to hand me a bowl less than half-filled. I looked down in wonder, and my stomach growled in confused hatred for this tragic turn of events.
I don't know if I looked confused, or if the lunch-lady was just so darned proud of herself, because she went on to say:
"I gave you less than the boys," and smiled.
"Wh-wh-why?" I stammered.
"It was said that you don't eat much."
WHAT?! ME?! Is that the punchline to a joke or something? Or maybe one of the teachers thinks I'm fat and I should try and watch my weight? What is this cruel joke? I couldn't believe it, just couldn't believe it.
As you might imagine, my voice, which I am convinced came straight from my stomach (and hence the bad Japanese that followed)
immediately said something to the effect of "No, wait, no, I like to eat. I am able to eat a lot. I always eat."
"Oh, next time I will you extra"
"Yes, yes, please, thank you."
Crisis, possibly ended.
Yes, I came back to my blog to write about that.
Let's see, what else would you probably like to know? I sent in my taxes. Woot? I don't really mind paying taxes (well, easy to say when I get foreign residence exclusion). But really, when it goes towards things like police, who keep me safe, fire departments, who keep my burnable objects from destroying me, and education, which attempts to make me smarter, I'm ok with it. Yeah, the agencies themselves aren't perfect, there is waste, squalor, and corruption- but until we live in a world where psychology meta-analyses (fyi, I just had to add "analyses" to this computer's dictionary) can strongly govern the way in which we do things, we'll just have inefficient agencies running things, and people yelling that they are inefficient while they are proposing their own inefficient version of how things should be done. Wow, sounding a little pessimistic there, ね.
Umm, guess I'll stop there. I've got some studying to do, as always. Looking forward to this new word list I compiled. 行くぞ！
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Pasta!
I was walking during lunch with a co-worker, and we had a great conversation about how Japan is changing its textbooks to lessen (or edit-out) the truth of what happened when Japan invaded China and Korea. Here's a wiki article that's interesting.
Oh, I suppose I can't just point the finger at Japan without turning around and taking a good hard look at America. Or, should I say Texas? Yeah, editing our textbooks too. Though, I'm not sure why that first link about Texas doesn't include the part about them cutting out Thomas Jefferson from a list of figures whose writings inspired revolutions. The truth isn't that god put us here, it isn't that we evolved after this Big Bang thing; it's actually that the Flying Spaghetti Monster designed us. Be touched...by his noodly appendage.
Is this post sort of short? Yes. Did I try to artificially lengthen it by including links for you to read? Yes, and no. I also think they are important links to keeping you informed. Informed about things you may not care about...meh. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to do more research on the correlation between the number of pirates decreasing and the global temperature increasing.
Oh, I suppose I can't just point the finger at Japan without turning around and taking a good hard look at America. Or, should I say Texas? Yeah, editing our textbooks too. Though, I'm not sure why that first link about Texas doesn't include the part about them cutting out Thomas Jefferson from a list of figures whose writings inspired revolutions. The truth isn't that god put us here, it isn't that we evolved after this Big Bang thing; it's actually that the Flying Spaghetti Monster designed us. Be touched...by his noodly appendage.
Is this post sort of short? Yes. Did I try to artificially lengthen it by including links for you to read? Yes, and no. I also think they are important links to keeping you informed. Informed about things you may not care about...meh. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to do more research on the correlation between the number of pirates decreasing and the global temperature increasing.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Qvuickly Qvuickly
I was taking a small break from Japanese and read an article in the NYtimes online. I ran across this interesting article about people who sabotage themselves and blame others for their failures (which the author takes to calling a masochistic personality). It was pretty interesting, then I ran across this little paragraph:
"But if someone has a pattern of disappointment in many areas of life, a therapist should consider that it could be self-engineered. Treatment can help, including psychodynamic and cognitive therapy, but there is still no effective medication for masochism."
Immediately, I knew the author was a psychiatrist. Scroll down to the bottom and *ching* I'm correct. There's "still no effective medication" my #&$. We don't need medications nearly as much as you are giving them out. Read any psychology textbook (or maybe the always-trusty wikipedia). Success rates are about the same, if not in conventional, non-medicated therapy's (I'm focusing on CBT with this one) favor. Not only that, recidivism rates for those who finally go off of the medication are incredibly high, so non-medicated therapy has the benefit of protecting the individual from future relapses.
Granted, there are some places where medicine does have it's proper place, but it's not nearly as necessary as I think people believe.
[Wanting to insert child-like "Where's your medication for that, psychiatrist?" but trying not to weaken argument... perhaps too late...]
Unfortunately, this endemic belief that medication is the way to solve problems, especially by a portion of those who are actually tasked with solving the problems, is a big problem, in my opinion.
"But if someone has a pattern of disappointment in many areas of life, a therapist should consider that it could be self-engineered. Treatment can help, including psychodynamic and cognitive therapy, but there is still no effective medication for masochism."
Immediately, I knew the author was a psychiatrist. Scroll down to the bottom and *ching* I'm correct. There's "still no effective medication" my #&$. We don't need medications nearly as much as you are giving them out. Read any psychology textbook (or maybe the always-trusty wikipedia). Success rates are about the same, if not in conventional, non-medicated therapy's (I'm focusing on CBT with this one) favor. Not only that, recidivism rates for those who finally go off of the medication are incredibly high, so non-medicated therapy has the benefit of protecting the individual from future relapses.
Granted, there are some places where medicine does have it's proper place, but it's not nearly as necessary as I think people believe.
[Wanting to insert child-like "Where's your medication for that, psychiatrist?" but trying not to weaken argument... perhaps too late...]
Unfortunately, this endemic belief that medication is the way to solve problems, especially by a portion of those who are actually tasked with solving the problems, is a big problem, in my opinion.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Don't Get Your Plain Form in My Keigo!
It's snowing.
In order to improve my Japanese listening and comprehension, I should be listening to Japan music. Unfortunately, it seems that I've moved to French music instead.
So there are some interesting occurrences when you have a very agglutinative language, as opposed to a moderately analytic language. Japanese, which you know, is all about the politeness, shows degrees of politeness mostly with the conjugation you use, and to a lesser degree with your word choice. So, if I want to be super-polite, I'll use keigo conjugations (and words), and if I want to be "rude" or friendly (when I'm around friends), I should be using the normal conjugations.
So, like, today, I was coming into work. And there was this coworker behind me. So, we walked to the office together, and she was totally like "ohayo," and I was thinking to myself "excuse me? Where's the gozaimasu? Since when are we on friendly terms?" so I responded with the moderate level of politeness I use for everyone. Again, she spoke, and again it was jishokei! "Ma'am, who do you think I am? Imma hafta go sonkeigo all over this conversation if this continues."
"Konban, kuru no?"
Ok, that's it, I warned you. "Moshi kureba, gorenraku itashimasu." Bam! Pow! Slapped in the face with humble keigo.
Ok, that's 90% not how it really happened. Meh, you can find the 10% yourself.
I've got an enkai tonight and another one tomorrow night. And then another next week. It's too much, it's killing me. Or, it will kill me. I can't decide. I'm looking forward to this weekend to just chill and work off the effects of too many enkais. Very calm and relaxed, I hope.
At my last enkai, I learned the word skinshippu. It's a combination of skin and friendship, and it's what they call the fact that they touch each other way too much for my comfort. It's just...too much. I've always felt uncomfortable about it when they touch me (not inappropriately, but just too much for men), and I only put up with it because that's how they treat each other. Finally, one of them asked about skinshippu in the US, and I told him how weird it was to me. He couldn't believe it, and was very surprised. And that's the story of how I learned a new word.
Well, that's about it for now. See you later.
In order to improve my Japanese listening and comprehension, I should be listening to Japan music. Unfortunately, it seems that I've moved to French music instead.
So there are some interesting occurrences when you have a very agglutinative language, as opposed to a moderately analytic language. Japanese, which you know, is all about the politeness, shows degrees of politeness mostly with the conjugation you use, and to a lesser degree with your word choice. So, if I want to be super-polite, I'll use keigo conjugations (and words), and if I want to be "rude" or friendly (when I'm around friends), I should be using the normal conjugations.
So, like, today, I was coming into work. And there was this coworker behind me. So, we walked to the office together, and she was totally like "ohayo," and I was thinking to myself "excuse me? Where's the gozaimasu? Since when are we on friendly terms?" so I responded with the moderate level of politeness I use for everyone. Again, she spoke, and again it was jishokei! "Ma'am, who do you think I am? Imma hafta go sonkeigo all over this conversation if this continues."
"Konban, kuru no?"
Ok, that's it, I warned you. "Moshi kureba, gorenraku itashimasu." Bam! Pow! Slapped in the face with humble keigo.
Ok, that's 90% not how it really happened. Meh, you can find the 10% yourself.
I've got an enkai tonight and another one tomorrow night. And then another next week. It's too much, it's killing me. Or, it will kill me. I can't decide. I'm looking forward to this weekend to just chill and work off the effects of too many enkais. Very calm and relaxed, I hope.
At my last enkai, I learned the word skinshippu. It's a combination of skin and friendship, and it's what they call the fact that they touch each other way too much for my comfort. It's just...too much. I've always felt uncomfortable about it when they touch me (not inappropriately, but just too much for men), and I only put up with it because that's how they treat each other. Finally, one of them asked about skinshippu in the US, and I told him how weird it was to me. He couldn't believe it, and was very surprised. And that's the story of how I learned a new word.
Well, that's about it for now. See you later.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Goodbye Shingo's Up-Mountain-San
My favorite teacher is leaving! How will I continue teaching next year without her? Oy vey iz mir... She's been at Shingo for at least 9 years. She's seen countless classes and ALT's, is great to work with, and has wonderful ideas. It will be very sad to see her go. We have our last lesson on Tuesday. Zannen, but perhaps she'll be replaced by another great teacher, so you never know!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Little Things
Surprise snow! We got 61 centimeters of it yesterday. Hold on, let me calculate that in inches for you. 2 FEET! We got two feet of snow, and Hachinohe isn't known for getting a lot of snow. Last night wasn't bad, I even shoveled my car a little parking spot, but it was a pain in the ass to deal with this morning, and I got to work 10 minutes late because of the huge traffic jam it caused. Still, this gives me hope for a nice powdery run down Hakkoda the weekend after next.
Little things:
I went to Shingochuu graduation yesterday. Ahh, samishii! My students, all grown up and off to High School. And the tears streaming down their faces, kanashii! In the words of Ms. Kamiyama, the English teacher, they were the best class she'd ever taught (and let me tell you something, she's been in the business for at least 40 years). If only I could trade the ichinensei with them instead...
I am returning tomorrow for my last lesson of the year. I made a lesson where they students break into 3 groups and then choose to listen to English songs. They can choose easy, medium, hard, or impossible songs, and then they all listen to the target part of the song 2 or 3 times. They have worksheets they fill out with lines, and they get points for each correct word. It should be fun, I hope they like the songs.
I had my last trip to the orthopedic clinic on Monday. It was pretty quick, they moved me straight to the back room with the jellyfish, chair of molestation, and water-bed. They gave me some medication, then kicked me out. Looks like I'm pretty much done. My pain is mostly gone too, so soon I'll be back to the gym and snowboarding.
I have a pimple on my forehead. Apparently, in Japan, people tell fortunes by pimples. No joke. My coworker saw my pimple and printed out a few pages of pimple fortune-telling information for me. Thanks Tanaka-san! (For those interested, it's on my forehead, between my left eyebrow and hair-line ;) ).
Lastly, and terribly sadly, my building is going to be torn down next year! I don't know why (cough, soviet-bloc era construction, huge cracks in the concrete, generally depressing non-decor). So, since they are tearing the building down next year, and since my shower is broken and it will cost a lot of money to fix it, I am moving out early! Oh yes. So, goodbye Block B, hello Block A! Yep, just moving over to the building next to me (which they are knocking down in 2 years, so I get to keep my cheap rent until I leave *phew*).
Ok, enkai tomorrow night, then night-bus to Tokyo. Then I get to meet up with Jesse! YES!
Little things:
I went to Shingochuu graduation yesterday. Ahh, samishii! My students, all grown up and off to High School. And the tears streaming down their faces, kanashii! In the words of Ms. Kamiyama, the English teacher, they were the best class she'd ever taught (and let me tell you something, she's been in the business for at least 40 years). If only I could trade the ichinensei with them instead...
I am returning tomorrow for my last lesson of the year. I made a lesson where they students break into 3 groups and then choose to listen to English songs. They can choose easy, medium, hard, or impossible songs, and then they all listen to the target part of the song 2 or 3 times. They have worksheets they fill out with lines, and they get points for each correct word. It should be fun, I hope they like the songs.
I had my last trip to the orthopedic clinic on Monday. It was pretty quick, they moved me straight to the back room with the jellyfish, chair of molestation, and water-bed. They gave me some medication, then kicked me out. Looks like I'm pretty much done. My pain is mostly gone too, so soon I'll be back to the gym and snowboarding.
I have a pimple on my forehead. Apparently, in Japan, people tell fortunes by pimples. No joke. My coworker saw my pimple and printed out a few pages of pimple fortune-telling information for me. Thanks Tanaka-san! (For those interested, it's on my forehead, between my left eyebrow and hair-line ;) ).
Lastly, and terribly sadly, my building is going to be torn down next year! I don't know why (cough, soviet-bloc era construction, huge cracks in the concrete, generally depressing non-decor). So, since they are tearing the building down next year, and since my shower is broken and it will cost a lot of money to fix it, I am moving out early! Oh yes. So, goodbye Block B, hello Block A! Yep, just moving over to the building next to me (which they are knocking down in 2 years, so I get to keep my cheap rent until I leave *phew*).
Ok, enkai tomorrow night, then night-bus to Tokyo. Then I get to meet up with Jesse! YES!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Trip to the Orthopedic Clinic
What to write what to write what to write? I'll tell you a bit of my trip to the doctor last night.
I went to the doctor because I've had some back pain that didn't go away. I did it all on my own, too. Pretty good, eh? Got an X-ray, all of my bones are fine (and, may I say, I've got some fine-lookin' bones). It's either a slipped disk, which isn't likely after the doctor had me do some stretches, or a pulled muscle. So, I got a corset and some medicine, and I'm good to go. Before leaving, I went to the rehabilitation room.
They put electric jellyfish on my back. That's what it felt like, anyways. Vibrating, slightly squishy, circles. Then they hooked me up to the molestation chair. I kid you not. You sit in it and the nurse straps you in. Then the chair itself lowers these arm bars that hold you in place by the armpits and it falls backwards, so you're facing the ceiling. Then the entire thing starts moving, jiggling, and vibrating over you. It was terrifying. Even the seatbelt part squeezes in and out over your crotch. And you wonder where crazy hentai comes from.
Lastly was the water bed. This was actually pretty cool. It was just a water bed that massages you. I guess it has the effect of cleansing your sins after your dalliance with the molesting chair.
Also, I taught my MJ lesson today. It was awesome. I dressed up as "Michael Jackson." And I taught the kids how to moonwalk and do the thriller dance. They really got into it. Yeah, my powerpoint was kickass. What what?
My friend is arriving here in a week, I can't wait to show him around and freak him out in Tokyo! I'm going to take him to a restaurant called Alcatraz ER. Google it, if you dare, bruahaha. One double-hyphenated word: Russian-Roulette-Sushi.
I went to the doctor because I've had some back pain that didn't go away. I did it all on my own, too. Pretty good, eh? Got an X-ray, all of my bones are fine (and, may I say, I've got some fine-lookin' bones). It's either a slipped disk, which isn't likely after the doctor had me do some stretches, or a pulled muscle. So, I got a corset and some medicine, and I'm good to go. Before leaving, I went to the rehabilitation room.
They put electric jellyfish on my back. That's what it felt like, anyways. Vibrating, slightly squishy, circles. Then they hooked me up to the molestation chair. I kid you not. You sit in it and the nurse straps you in. Then the chair itself lowers these arm bars that hold you in place by the armpits and it falls backwards, so you're facing the ceiling. Then the entire thing starts moving, jiggling, and vibrating over you. It was terrifying. Even the seatbelt part squeezes in and out over your crotch. And you wonder where crazy hentai comes from.
Lastly was the water bed. This was actually pretty cool. It was just a water bed that massages you. I guess it has the effect of cleansing your sins after your dalliance with the molesting chair.
Also, I taught my MJ lesson today. It was awesome. I dressed up as "Michael Jackson." And I taught the kids how to moonwalk and do the thriller dance. They really got into it. Yeah, my powerpoint was kickass. What what?
My friend is arriving here in a week, I can't wait to show him around and freak him out in Tokyo! I'm going to take him to a restaurant called Alcatraz ER. Google it, if you dare, bruahaha. One double-hyphenated word: Russian-Roulette-Sushi.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Friday's Lesson Plan
Friday's plan looks like this:
4th period:
-Interview and writing (Reviewing of Verbs)
-ALT explains Michael Jackson to Students (25 min.)
Lunch
5th Period:
-Game (Using to + infinitives)
-ALT explains Michael Jackson to Students (25 min.)
-Other notes: I'd like you to explain Michael Jackson to the students.
Great lesson plan, or Greatest lesson plan?
4th period:
-Interview and writing (Reviewing of Verbs)
-ALT explains Michael Jackson to Students (25 min.)
Lunch
5th Period:
-Game (Using to + infinitives)
-ALT explains Michael Jackson to Students (25 min.)
-Other notes: I'd like you to explain Michael Jackson to the students.
Great lesson plan, or Greatest lesson plan?
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Shred That (G)nar
This is yet another spoken-for post, going out to a friend here in Good ol' Aomori. Read, then cast your vote. You decide the fate of this court case. *The only knowledge I have about court cases comes from TV shows that I don't watch, and Sci-Fi shows that I do watch, so just roll with it.
"Order in the court!" Judge Whip R. Snapper bellowed from her bench hitting her gavel as hard as she could against her platform. The courtroom settled down.
"Let's see," she looked at her paper. "Today we have Captain Slowtoad of the SS Kart prosecuting, and 'Kid with Klinefelter's Syndrome so be nice to -' err...I mean, DKizzle defending. You two may janken for who presents their case first to the jury."
"Saissho a gu, janken PO!" Rocks and scissors, the prosecution would give their case first.
"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury," the Captain's lawyer began, "we believe that 'gnar' as in 'shredding the gnar' and 'shred the gnar-gnar,' among other uses, not only deserves a G in the front, but it's very use in words such as 'gnarly' mandate it as a requirement. Furthermore, omitting the G paves the way for confusing and needless homophony, as in 'Do you understand this? Nar.' or 'Are you ok? Narp.' With this in mind, we submit that gnar, spelled correctly with a G in front, is necessary in this day and age. Thank you."
"Defense may rise," Whip said.
"We, as the defense, disagree wholeheartedly with the prosecution. Putting a G in front of nar will invariably lead to people pronouncing it phonetically: 'guh-nar,' which ruins the flow whilst one be shredding said nar. And imagine, if you will, ladies and gentlemen, little nar-shredders riding a wave or carving down a mountain telling their papas and mamas 'look mom, I'm shredding the guh-nar guh-nar.' The defense believes that adding a G will ruin correct pronunciation, leading to the inability to explain what one is shredding, which will eventually lead to the downfall of the United States of America by way of decreased exports of America's number 1 shredded commodity, nar. The defense rests its case."
"Ok, the prosecution may call up its first witness. The author, creator, and giant panda that secretly controls the world's dictionaries, 'The Japanda formerly known as JishoPanda,'" Whip intoned.
The prosecution confidently strolled to the platform as The Japanda formerly known as JishoPanda was sworn in. It's belly undulated in pleasure at the eucalyptus-printed book.
"Japanda, is it true that you control all of the dictionaries in the world?"
"Yes, every single one."
"For how long have you been in control?"
"Ever since I inherited power from Jitenarwhal in 1850."
"Wow, you must have seen a lot of changes, right?"
"OBJECTION!" The kid with klinefelter's screamed. "Unnecessary small-talk!"
"Objection over-ruled, you may continue with your questioning, prosecution."
"As I was saying, you've seen a lot of changes. Now, have you run across the word 'gnar' in any of your dictionaries?"
"Yes, I have. There are two entries with different spellings in my urbandictionary.com site. It makes me hungry and aggressive."
"Please, tell me, my gracious spotted roly-poly biped, how many entries are there for 'gnar' with a G, and 'gnar' without a G?"
"There are 35 with a G and 20 without a G. Of the 20 without a G, numerous ones are for 'nar' meaning 'a negatory response meaning 'no'.'
"OBJECTION!" Klinefelter's screamed, "Negatory isn't a word!"
"Objection, sustained. Witness's validity is under question."
"Oh really?" Japanda asked. "Have you checked all of my dictionaries? I'm like a hippopotamus/my entries are bottomless/ bubbling from my throat like phosphorescent phosphorous/can you check it like Kid Rock's proctologist?/I write-sleep-eat and quiz-it like Stephanopoulos."
"Objection over-ruled. The Japanda has a point." Whip R. Snapper was entranced by the hypnotic circles on it's belly that moved in time with the rap.
"The prosecution is finished. 35 entries to 20."
"Defense has no questions, but calls philosopher and linguist Noam Chompsky to the platform."
The panda hip-hop kibbles-and bits'ed off the platform, only to be replaced by cunning linguist and philosopher, among other accomplishments, Mr. Chompsky.
"The defense would like you ask you a few question, Mr. Chompsky."
"Much Obliged."
"Sir, could you explain the etymology of the word, specifically in BCUva philosophy?"
"Much Obliged. Clearly 'nar' comes from the thing which one must shred. Now, this shredding can happen in both a physical and metaphysical sense, and in many times, occurs in both simultaneously. However, and this is an important point we will return to, the 'nar' which one may or may not shred is not necessarily a material object. Depending on the speaker and the topic, 'nar' may encompass a wide variety of objects, emotions, though nearly all are positive, and actions."
"Would you consider 'nar' to be related to gnat, if it were to include a G?"
"While both contain the silent G sound, that is their only similarity."
"Thank you, the defense rests." The Klinefelter's kid shot the Captain a look filled with malice and minor mental disability.
"Prosecution."
"Yes Madame Snapper. Now, Mr. Chompsky, it is interesting that you bring up that gnat and gnar have only one similarity. Can you think of gnar, with a G, having similarity with any other word?"
"Much obliged, but not off the top of my head."
"What about 'gnarly?'"
The court gasped.
"Ahh yes, gnarly, one of it's alternate definitions bears much in kind with 'gnar.' I supposed there is quite a number of geographic and usage similarities, it must've slipped my mind."
"Furthermore, when something is 'gnarly' in the gnarled up sense of the word, how might one fix the problem."
"I'm not sure what you're-"
"Would someone, perhaps, grate or slice it?"
"Well yes-"
"Or perhaps, one could do both at the same time and shred it, wouldn't you say so, Dr.?"
"Well, that is certainly true."
"And, in the context of a mountain, which one might say is a gnarled up ball of dirt and rocks, couldn't one philosophize that it's natural form would be as 'plains,' Dr.?"
"I see what you are getting at, if one was to shred gnar, the gnar in this case being a mountain with snow, one could be performing the action of shredding a gnar that is both related to something 'gnarled,' as well as something that derives from the Californian slang 'gnarly.'"
"Yea brah, yea. Prosecutions rests, Dawg."
"Ok, you have both done a good job of presenting your cases. The jury will take time to deliberate the answer and return with a verdict."
Ok, whoever is reading this blog, I want your votes. It will determine the outcome of this story. Which is it, gnar or nar? Feel free to discuss in the comments.
"Order in the court!" Judge Whip R. Snapper bellowed from her bench hitting her gavel as hard as she could against her platform. The courtroom settled down.
"Let's see," she looked at her paper. "Today we have Captain Slowtoad of the SS Kart prosecuting, and 'Kid with Klinefelter's Syndrome so be nice to -' err...I mean, DKizzle defending. You two may janken for who presents their case first to the jury."
"Saissho a gu, janken PO!" Rocks and scissors, the prosecution would give their case first.
"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury," the Captain's lawyer began, "we believe that 'gnar' as in 'shredding the gnar' and 'shred the gnar-gnar,' among other uses, not only deserves a G in the front, but it's very use in words such as 'gnarly' mandate it as a requirement. Furthermore, omitting the G paves the way for confusing and needless homophony, as in 'Do you understand this? Nar.' or 'Are you ok? Narp.' With this in mind, we submit that gnar, spelled correctly with a G in front, is necessary in this day and age. Thank you."
"Defense may rise," Whip said.
"We, as the defense, disagree wholeheartedly with the prosecution. Putting a G in front of nar will invariably lead to people pronouncing it phonetically: 'guh-nar,' which ruins the flow whilst one be shredding said nar. And imagine, if you will, ladies and gentlemen, little nar-shredders riding a wave or carving down a mountain telling their papas and mamas 'look mom, I'm shredding the guh-nar guh-nar.' The defense believes that adding a G will ruin correct pronunciation, leading to the inability to explain what one is shredding, which will eventually lead to the downfall of the United States of America by way of decreased exports of America's number 1 shredded commodity, nar. The defense rests its case."
"Ok, the prosecution may call up its first witness. The author, creator, and giant panda that secretly controls the world's dictionaries, 'The Japanda formerly known as JishoPanda,'" Whip intoned.
The prosecution confidently strolled to the platform as The Japanda formerly known as JishoPanda was sworn in. It's belly undulated in pleasure at the eucalyptus-printed book.
"Japanda, is it true that you control all of the dictionaries in the world?"
"Yes, every single one."
"For how long have you been in control?"
"Ever since I inherited power from Jitenarwhal in 1850."
"Wow, you must have seen a lot of changes, right?"
"OBJECTION!" The kid with klinefelter's screamed. "Unnecessary small-talk!"
"Objection over-ruled, you may continue with your questioning, prosecution."
"As I was saying, you've seen a lot of changes. Now, have you run across the word 'gnar' in any of your dictionaries?"
"Yes, I have. There are two entries with different spellings in my urbandictionary.com site. It makes me hungry and aggressive."
"Please, tell me, my gracious spotted roly-poly biped, how many entries are there for 'gnar' with a G, and 'gnar' without a G?"
"There are 35 with a G and 20 without a G. Of the 20 without a G, numerous ones are for 'nar' meaning 'a negatory response meaning 'no'.'
"OBJECTION!" Klinefelter's screamed, "Negatory isn't a word!"
"Objection, sustained. Witness's validity is under question."
"Oh really?" Japanda asked. "Have you checked all of my dictionaries? I'm like a hippopotamus/my entries are bottomless/ bubbling from my throat like phosphorescent phosphorous/can you check it like Kid Rock's proctologist?/I write-sleep-eat and quiz-it like Stephanopoulos."
"Objection over-ruled. The Japanda has a point." Whip R. Snapper was entranced by the hypnotic circles on it's belly that moved in time with the rap.
"The prosecution is finished. 35 entries to 20."
"Defense has no questions, but calls philosopher and linguist Noam Chompsky to the platform."
The panda hip-hop kibbles-and bits'ed off the platform, only to be replaced by cunning linguist and philosopher, among other accomplishments, Mr. Chompsky.
"The defense would like you ask you a few question, Mr. Chompsky."
"Much Obliged."
"Sir, could you explain the etymology of the word, specifically in BCUva philosophy?"
"Much Obliged. Clearly 'nar' comes from the thing which one must shred. Now, this shredding can happen in both a physical and metaphysical sense, and in many times, occurs in both simultaneously. However, and this is an important point we will return to, the 'nar' which one may or may not shred is not necessarily a material object. Depending on the speaker and the topic, 'nar' may encompass a wide variety of objects, emotions, though nearly all are positive, and actions."
"Would you consider 'nar' to be related to gnat, if it were to include a G?"
"While both contain the silent G sound, that is their only similarity."
"Thank you, the defense rests." The Klinefelter's kid shot the Captain a look filled with malice and minor mental disability.
"Prosecution."
"Yes Madame Snapper. Now, Mr. Chompsky, it is interesting that you bring up that gnat and gnar have only one similarity. Can you think of gnar, with a G, having similarity with any other word?"
"Much obliged, but not off the top of my head."
"What about 'gnarly?'"
The court gasped.
"Ahh yes, gnarly, one of it's alternate definitions bears much in kind with 'gnar.' I supposed there is quite a number of geographic and usage similarities, it must've slipped my mind."
"Furthermore, when something is 'gnarly' in the gnarled up sense of the word, how might one fix the problem."
"I'm not sure what you're-"
"Would someone, perhaps, grate or slice it?"
"Well yes-"
"Or perhaps, one could do both at the same time and shred it, wouldn't you say so, Dr.?"
"Well, that is certainly true."
"And, in the context of a mountain, which one might say is a gnarled up ball of dirt and rocks, couldn't one philosophize that it's natural form would be as 'plains,' Dr.?"
"I see what you are getting at, if one was to shred gnar, the gnar in this case being a mountain with snow, one could be performing the action of shredding a gnar that is both related to something 'gnarled,' as well as something that derives from the Californian slang 'gnarly.'"
"Yea brah, yea. Prosecutions rests, Dawg."
"Ok, you have both done a good job of presenting your cases. The jury will take time to deliberate the answer and return with a verdict."
Ok, whoever is reading this blog, I want your votes. It will determine the outcome of this story. Which is it, gnar or nar? Feel free to discuss in the comments.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Snow(boarding, ball-fight) and How to Distinguish the Crazies
Hello Readers,
'Tis a fine day in Hachinohe. The weather is hovering around -4ish (Celsius, so maybe mid to high 20's Fahrenheit) and there is a small layer of snow coating the ground. And I'll be heading to Okunakayama tonight for some snowboarding. Yes, life couldn't be better. I also had a fulfilling weekend last weekend. I finally snowboarded on the infamous Mount Hakkoda! The snow there was perfect. It was so powdery that, when I fell, it felt like I was being cushioned by a big marshmallow pillow. And you what what it means when you're not afraid of falling, right? You aren't afraid of learning! Yeah, going off jumps, no problem, carving down a slope, no problem.
Perhaps the best part of Hakkoda is that it's back-country. This means that the 2 courses (the rest are back-country, and you go down at your own peril) have trees, interesting, windy courses, and are so much more fun. It's so much better than a regular downhill course. Going through the trees and along small paths is wicked intense!
On Sunday was the Shichinohe White Battle. Here's the gist of it: 3 minutes to pummel your 7 opponents from your stockpile of 90 snowballs, or capture their flag. Oh yeah, this is a serious thing, there are even umpires surrounding the fields. It was more fun than it sounds. We annihilated the first team. We only lost one of ours compared to all 7 of them; even successfully defending against a rush to our flag at the end. The second game...not so good. Half of our team was out within 30 seconds. Yours truly was gone before he could even get behind the first barrier! It's really too bad it ended so quickly, it was wicked fun.
So, that was a good way to spend a weekend- it was super satisfying.
You wanna know what else is satisfying? This here Q&A session. I'm not sure why the Republicans agreed to such a thing, and why they bowed under pressure to air the entire Q&A when they were originally going to air only Obama's opening speech (though, depending on the spin of the site you go to, some will say they bowed under White House pressure to air it, others will say that it was a GOP idea to air it). Why am I confused why they would air such a thing? Because it gives a direct outlet for the President to refute all of their spin in front of the American people. When you can have nigh-unlimited control of the message you are sending the people, why would you ever let an intelligent leader come and prove the core of your messages wrong? Obviously, I loved it, especially when the President deftly refutes Congressman Pence's loaded question on the economy. If you would like to see exactly what he was refuting, so you can get a clear, unbiased look at the GOP's viewpoints, please, look at their 30 page (well, around that much, I guess Cover Pages and Table of Contents shouldn't really be included...) "solution" on their website http://www.gop.gov/solutions . Maybe you should read that first and then watch the video, so you can get a look at where the logic is faulty. (And yes, the solution to all of the problems we currently have in the USA need only 30 pages to fix!).
Ok, done with politics for now.
As a frequent reader of news on the interwebs, I run across many people with opinions who've commented on articles by equally opinionated (yet payed) people. Some of them sound ok, until their logic begins to devolve into a meaningless mash of falsities lying somewhere between Barney the Magic Dinosaur and your 10 year old cousin's book of funnies. I present to you part of my short guide to vocabulary for the crazies are on the internet:
Noplanhagen, Plight House, other random mix-mash of famous events/locations that belie conspiracy- These people are the conspiracy theorists. They are the ones who think that the moon is sending gamma waves to affect the brains of politicians around the world in order to get them to trash the earth and force a move to the moon, because it's so lonely (to those learning English and are reading my blog, that sentence is probably gonna be a toughie). Usually their posts start off ok. Many times it's with an easily proven fact, such as "Most humans have 10 fingers." From there, it is a downhill conspiracy theory spiral: "But after the 'climate short-change' meetings at Noplanhagen (for those not in the know, there was a big climate-change meeting in Copenhagen, Denmark recently), soon we're all going to have 13 fingers and 14 toes due to the increased emission of nuclear power plants." Once you hit one of those signals, just stop reading, it's just better for your health that way.
Bass-ackwards- Oh how clever and witty you are, with your swapping of the first letter on bass-ackwards! These people are also part of the crazies. They're usually the ones who write something like "it's people with degrees who got us into this problem, so why don't you try letting the people WITHOUT degrees try solving it." There is something charming about the logic. These people, like conspiracy theorists, can be found all over the internet. Again, once you hit this keyword, just ignore the rest of the comment.
That ends the very short guide to the crazies on the internet. Keep on the lookout though, you might just be reading a crazies' blog! Japan? More like Joe'sPan, ohh!
'Tis a fine day in Hachinohe. The weather is hovering around -4ish (Celsius, so maybe mid to high 20's Fahrenheit) and there is a small layer of snow coating the ground. And I'll be heading to Okunakayama tonight for some snowboarding. Yes, life couldn't be better. I also had a fulfilling weekend last weekend. I finally snowboarded on the infamous Mount Hakkoda! The snow there was perfect. It was so powdery that, when I fell, it felt like I was being cushioned by a big marshmallow pillow. And you what what it means when you're not afraid of falling, right? You aren't afraid of learning! Yeah, going off jumps, no problem, carving down a slope, no problem.
Perhaps the best part of Hakkoda is that it's back-country. This means that the 2 courses (the rest are back-country, and you go down at your own peril) have trees, interesting, windy courses, and are so much more fun. It's so much better than a regular downhill course. Going through the trees and along small paths is wicked intense!
On Sunday was the Shichinohe White Battle. Here's the gist of it: 3 minutes to pummel your 7 opponents from your stockpile of 90 snowballs, or capture their flag. Oh yeah, this is a serious thing, there are even umpires surrounding the fields. It was more fun than it sounds. We annihilated the first team. We only lost one of ours compared to all 7 of them; even successfully defending against a rush to our flag at the end. The second game...not so good. Half of our team was out within 30 seconds. Yours truly was gone before he could even get behind the first barrier! It's really too bad it ended so quickly, it was wicked fun.
So, that was a good way to spend a weekend- it was super satisfying.
You wanna know what else is satisfying? This here Q&A session. I'm not sure why the Republicans agreed to such a thing, and why they bowed under pressure to air the entire Q&A when they were originally going to air only Obama's opening speech (though, depending on the spin of the site you go to, some will say they bowed under White House pressure to air it, others will say that it was a GOP idea to air it). Why am I confused why they would air such a thing? Because it gives a direct outlet for the President to refute all of their spin in front of the American people. When you can have nigh-unlimited control of the message you are sending the people, why would you ever let an intelligent leader come and prove the core of your messages wrong? Obviously, I loved it, especially when the President deftly refutes Congressman Pence's loaded question on the economy. If you would like to see exactly what he was refuting, so you can get a clear, unbiased look at the GOP's viewpoints, please, look at their 30 page (well, around that much, I guess Cover Pages and Table of Contents shouldn't really be included...) "solution" on their website http://www.gop.gov/solutions . Maybe you should read that first and then watch the video, so you can get a look at where the logic is faulty. (And yes, the solution to all of the problems we currently have in the USA need only 30 pages to fix!).
Ok, done with politics for now.
As a frequent reader of news on the interwebs, I run across many people with opinions who've commented on articles by equally opinionated (yet payed) people. Some of them sound ok, until their logic begins to devolve into a meaningless mash of falsities lying somewhere between Barney the Magic Dinosaur and your 10 year old cousin's book of funnies. I present to you part of my short guide to vocabulary for the crazies are on the internet:
Noplanhagen, Plight House, other random mix-mash of famous events/locations that belie conspiracy- These people are the conspiracy theorists. They are the ones who think that the moon is sending gamma waves to affect the brains of politicians around the world in order to get them to trash the earth and force a move to the moon, because it's so lonely (to those learning English and are reading my blog, that sentence is probably gonna be a toughie). Usually their posts start off ok. Many times it's with an easily proven fact, such as "Most humans have 10 fingers." From there, it is a downhill conspiracy theory spiral: "But after the 'climate short-change' meetings at Noplanhagen (for those not in the know, there was a big climate-change meeting in Copenhagen, Denmark recently), soon we're all going to have 13 fingers and 14 toes due to the increased emission of nuclear power plants." Once you hit one of those signals, just stop reading, it's just better for your health that way.
Bass-ackwards- Oh how clever and witty you are, with your swapping of the first letter on bass-ackwards! These people are also part of the crazies. They're usually the ones who write something like "it's people with degrees who got us into this problem, so why don't you try letting the people WITHOUT degrees try solving it." There is something charming about the logic. These people, like conspiracy theorists, can be found all over the internet. Again, once you hit this keyword, just ignore the rest of the comment.
That ends the very short guide to the crazies on the internet. Keep on the lookout though, you might just be reading a crazies' blog! Japan? More like Joe'sPan, ohh!
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Gender Relations
The state of gender equality in Japan can be summed up in this video of "Eigo de Asobou" or, "Let's play in English."
Here.
Here.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Stream of Consc-...Nope, Politics.
Another week has come and gone, and I don't really know what to write about now. Another stream-of-consciousness entry? Ok.
I use WolframAlpha for cool things. It's pretty cool. I only wish it had a list of functions on the side, because I don't think I'm using it to it's full capabilities yet. I do like that it includes how far the weather-station is that it pulls data from when I ask for the weather. I don't trust most weather sites because they just don't tell you that info.
Speaking of trust, and lack thereof, let's talk government, briefly. I'm a "damned liberal." As opposed to conservatives, who don't have such readily-available labels (I call discrimination!). So, obviously, I am disappointed with some of the recent happenings. I am also (still) disappointed with humans. And when you put the two of them together...ok, where to begin. Let's start with humans, for no particular reason. Well, maybe we'll start with Americans. X > 50% of the people lack the ability for long-term thinking (fancily known as delayed gratification). If our elected official isn't automatically doing well (or their party isn't) and hasn't fixed all of our problems, automatically kick him out and replaced him with someone who hasn't disappointed us yet. When they fail to fix everything, just kick them out, and elect another guy. Let's take that whole theory of mine, and label it as "A."
Next, we have politics. I just want to scream at the Democrats! Abandoning the Health Bill because they lost their supermajority by 1 seat. To roughly paraphrase from memory Jon Stewart's succinct analysis, "Hey, Democrats, you still have more senate seats...than George W. Bush ever had in the Senate when he did whatever the fuck he wanted to." (Here, you can find the clip at the bottom of this page, because I'm nice enough of a guy to look it up online). Granted, things are a little more complicated than that, Bush didn't have 100% of the opposing party always voting against him. But then, I find it hard to imagine that 100% of the republican senators fully disagree with everything Obama is doing. Hmmm... Wait a sec, I've found the secret to this game! Dear God, just put away all of your actual preferences and vote across party lines! I'm actually not kidding. Hey, Democrats, Republicans are willing to do so every single time an important vote comes up, why can't you do the same? For the love of- just forget about all of your whining on what is fair and what isn't fair, you can change those things AFTER the bill is passed and huge reform is working through. I obviously haven't read the bill, just like most Americans and portions of the government haven't, but I would imagine that a less-flawed, new system, is better than a hugely flawed, 16% of GDP behemoth (taken from wiki, and the first couple of links in google, which hopefully aren't all colluding together against us, oh critical one). You know what, while you're at it, pass through a few more bills with your supermajority. The longer you spend going back and forth over the bill, the fewer and fewer Americans will like it. So, just push it through, stop wasting time, and fix it after you are 100% sure it will take effect. You know what, people aren't going to like it at first, but I bet, if it does even half of what you are saying it will, that people will begin to like it after they are done being angry about it. In case you aren't clear, I am arguing, willingly, for Democrats to stop being the bigger person, and step (very far) down to the level of Republicans, if they want to get anything done. Just this once? Then you can go back to, oh, how did Jon Stewart put it again, something about a nurse's office and glue... Ok, take all of that and label it B.
So, in short, we have this new equation: A + B = extremely frustrating for me. Oh wait, as of this morning, there's a C! Great, now corporations can directly influence even more in our lives, now that they "have similar rights to individuals to participate in elections." So, A + B + C = over the top frustration. For Mr. Glenn Beck, in the 0.01% chance you read this blog, I just- I just miss my America. *tear* There's a whole group of people who are destroying the America I grew up in. *tear, close-up shot of watery eyes* They keep saying they are the "real America," but the real America I grew up in doesn't like guns so much or drive huge gas-guzzling cars.
Ok, that stream-of-consciousness post got really political all of a sudden. And, I'll end it there, as I've said enough on the topic for now.
End
I use WolframAlpha for cool things. It's pretty cool. I only wish it had a list of functions on the side, because I don't think I'm using it to it's full capabilities yet. I do like that it includes how far the weather-station is that it pulls data from when I ask for the weather. I don't trust most weather sites because they just don't tell you that info.
Speaking of trust, and lack thereof, let's talk government, briefly. I'm a "damned liberal." As opposed to conservatives, who don't have such readily-available labels (I call discrimination!). So, obviously, I am disappointed with some of the recent happenings. I am also (still) disappointed with humans. And when you put the two of them together...ok, where to begin. Let's start with humans, for no particular reason. Well, maybe we'll start with Americans. X > 50% of the people lack the ability for long-term thinking (fancily known as delayed gratification). If our elected official isn't automatically doing well (or their party isn't) and hasn't fixed all of our problems, automatically kick him out and replaced him with someone who hasn't disappointed us yet. When they fail to fix everything, just kick them out, and elect another guy. Let's take that whole theory of mine, and label it as "A."
Next, we have politics. I just want to scream at the Democrats! Abandoning the Health Bill because they lost their supermajority by 1 seat. To roughly paraphrase from memory Jon Stewart's succinct analysis, "Hey, Democrats, you still have more senate seats...than George W. Bush ever had in the Senate when he did whatever the fuck he wanted to." (Here, you can find the clip at the bottom of this page, because I'm nice enough of a guy to look it up online). Granted, things are a little more complicated than that, Bush didn't have 100% of the opposing party always voting against him. But then, I find it hard to imagine that 100% of the republican senators fully disagree with everything Obama is doing. Hmmm... Wait a sec, I've found the secret to this game! Dear God, just put away all of your actual preferences and vote across party lines! I'm actually not kidding. Hey, Democrats, Republicans are willing to do so every single time an important vote comes up, why can't you do the same? For the love of- just forget about all of your whining on what is fair and what isn't fair, you can change those things AFTER the bill is passed and huge reform is working through. I obviously haven't read the bill, just like most Americans and portions of the government haven't, but I would imagine that a less-flawed, new system, is better than a hugely flawed, 16% of GDP behemoth (taken from wiki, and the first couple of links in google, which hopefully aren't all colluding together against us, oh critical one). You know what, while you're at it, pass through a few more bills with your supermajority. The longer you spend going back and forth over the bill, the fewer and fewer Americans will like it. So, just push it through, stop wasting time, and fix it after you are 100% sure it will take effect. You know what, people aren't going to like it at first, but I bet, if it does even half of what you are saying it will, that people will begin to like it after they are done being angry about it. In case you aren't clear, I am arguing, willingly, for Democrats to stop being the bigger person, and step (very far) down to the level of Republicans, if they want to get anything done. Just this once? Then you can go back to, oh, how did Jon Stewart put it again, something about a nurse's office and glue... Ok, take all of that and label it B.
So, in short, we have this new equation: A + B = extremely frustrating for me. Oh wait, as of this morning, there's a C! Great, now corporations can directly influence even more in our lives, now that they "have similar rights to individuals to participate in elections." So, A + B + C = over the top frustration. For Mr. Glenn Beck, in the 0.01% chance you read this blog, I just- I just miss my America. *tear* There's a whole group of people who are destroying the America I grew up in. *tear, close-up shot of watery eyes* They keep saying they are the "real America," but the real America I grew up in doesn't like guns so much or drive huge gas-guzzling cars.
Ok, that stream-of-consciousness post got really political all of a sudden. And, I'll end it there, as I've said enough on the topic for now.
End
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Nonsense
Ladies and Gentlemen, this post is spoken for. I promised a friend of mine that the next post would be directly influenced by him. In order to protect his identity from the feral Chinese hackers who hate activists , I will not put his name, but instead use the much manlier Vagbar Korst. I will try to write this in a style different from my usual in the hopes that it will appeal to this non-named friend.
Vagbar studied manliness at the University of Man, on the Isle of Man. However, he was born so manly that he graduated on his first day of arriving, with a double-major in manthematics and philmanthropy. Accordingly, he was offered a teaching position at the university, but turned in down, as he didn't have enough time between wrasslin' alligators and boxing bears to teach. Every day he drank 3 jugs of cider, and every day he made important decisions in a confident manner.
Yes, Vagbar seemed to live a charmed life. According to the laws of manliness, which seemed to obey his every whim, he dominated in many areas.
But, his manliness came at a price. He was unabashedly aggressive. He had a tough, macho outer skin that hid his true, sensitive, unconfident, and unstable inner self. And, most tragically, he could not control that highest pinnacle of manliness, the hair on his chest.
"At this rate, he has only 9 days left to live" the doctor gravely said. Vagbar's many children, surrounding his bed, shuddered. Vagbar laughed. "His chest hair will slowly strangle him until he is unable to receive enough oxygen. And there is nothing we can do about it."
"But, can't you cut it, or tie it up somehow," a child asked.
"No, young Billy, we've tried diamond-plated chainsaws and we can't even make a dent, there is no hope. No. Hope."
Vagbar cackled at this. "Yar! When death comes, I'mma grab it by it's brittle little bones and use it's own leg to beat it. Then, I'mma take that tharn sickle and carve it an intricatedectedly (he sputtered on this polysyllabic word), intricitically- I'm gonna carve it a trashcan out of it's own bones, and put it's cloak inside, then use it as a thunderbucket!" Vagbar continued rambling, switching to even less coherent vocabulary until he was a murmur of thinly veiled threats against the grim reaper. A very manly vein of anger started popping from the side of his forehead.
8 days left. Vagbar hereby named them the 8 Days of Manliness, in which he would perform great feats of masculinity, until he defeated death as his ultimate feat. On the 1st day, he climbed Mount Everest, then jumped back to the bottom. Bored, and still with 18 hours left in the day, Vagbar proceeded to fight the mountain with one arm tied behind his back. He knocked the mountain into the pacific ocean with his left hook, and now we call that island Guam.
On the 2nd day, Vagbar wooed all of the women in the entire world, and then turned all of them down because none of them were strong enough to raise one of his children. He then had tea in the middle of the Saharan dessert, just because he could.
And so, Vagbar continued his 8 days of manliness, until every super-manly deed had been completed. He moved buildings, ate copious amounts of food and drink, wore differing types of cologne, and did incredibly foolish acts. He even forced himself into the dictionary, where his picture would be the definition for manliness for years to come. No, for eternity. No, for eternity + 1. His achievements would more than stand the test of time, they would define time.
Finally, his chest hair became too much for him, and he began to choke on that last day. Yet, his choke was manly! Wild animals all over the world heard his guttural cries and bowed their heads in his direction. Then, the moment of reckoning came. Death, on his black chariot, with his black, featureless dog, came riding towards him.
It came of wheels of pure destruction and fire! The brimstone carriage, with neatly trimmed curtains and racing decals, rushed forwards on a cushion of hot air. Death's bone-white smile, accented by all of the bones, widened.
"Finally, your time has come," it cackled. "We have been waiting for you for a long time."
"I gave your mother a long time!" Vagbar screamed his most manly of one-liners, and charged death's chariot.
{Warning, what happened here was so gruesome and manly that the author had to forgo description in order to maintain the sanity of his readers}
Vagbar held Death's pearly white fingers in one hand, while he felt the chill of its palm on his heart. He should have realized that death's leg, ripped off and used to beat it into submission, would have hidden rockets in the femur. It was Death he was dealing with, not any normal skeleton. That explosion temporarily disoriented him, and now here he was, with Death's hands on his heart.
"It's over, Vagbar, you are coming with me." The skeleton's raspy voice echoed in his skull. Vagbar hunched over, it appeared his energy was draining from his heart through death's hand. His mind churned back through the years, a flashback of epic, nay, god-like proportions. He thought about his toddler days, when he first started lifting weights in repetitive movements, like other manly men. Then, his pre-teen days, when he discarded books in favor of arm-wrestling lions. His teenage days, when he decided angst wasn't manly enough, and punched it in the gut, wounding it and giving 1/2 of the teenage population an identity crisis. He continued to think and ponder, until he realized he was drawing strength from his manly memories. He began to straighten, confident in his waxing strength. He grabbed Death's wrist and pulled it out of his chest. Then, he lifted Death and threw him into the chariot. The wheels, made of a polyurethane blend of destruction and fire, imploded with the strength of 3 atomic bombs. Minutes later, Death, regretting investing in the wheels made of a polyurethane blend of destruction and fire, landed on the ground next to Vagbar.
Vagbar looked down. "YARRRR! I win," he said. Death, too stunned to move, acceded. After awhile, it slowly crawled through the ground, back to the underworld.
Vagbar looked around. He didn't know where he was. The cold landscape around him was barren but for a few mountains in the background. Another dimension perhaps? In the end, it didn't matter, there was only one thing he knew; regardless of where he was, there were manly feats to be done, and he was gonna do them.
The, End
Vagbar studied manliness at the University of Man, on the Isle of Man. However, he was born so manly that he graduated on his first day of arriving, with a double-major in manthematics and philmanthropy. Accordingly, he was offered a teaching position at the university, but turned in down, as he didn't have enough time between wrasslin' alligators and boxing bears to teach. Every day he drank 3 jugs of cider, and every day he made important decisions in a confident manner.
Yes, Vagbar seemed to live a charmed life. According to the laws of manliness, which seemed to obey his every whim, he dominated in many areas.
But, his manliness came at a price. He was unabashedly aggressive. He had a tough, macho outer skin that hid his true, sensitive, unconfident, and unstable inner self. And, most tragically, he could not control that highest pinnacle of manliness, the hair on his chest.
"At this rate, he has only 9 days left to live" the doctor gravely said. Vagbar's many children, surrounding his bed, shuddered. Vagbar laughed. "His chest hair will slowly strangle him until he is unable to receive enough oxygen. And there is nothing we can do about it."
"But, can't you cut it, or tie it up somehow," a child asked.
"No, young Billy, we've tried diamond-plated chainsaws and we can't even make a dent, there is no hope. No. Hope."
Vagbar cackled at this. "Yar! When death comes, I'mma grab it by it's brittle little bones and use it's own leg to beat it. Then, I'mma take that tharn sickle and carve it an intricatedectedly (he sputtered on this polysyllabic word), intricitically- I'm gonna carve it a trashcan out of it's own bones, and put it's cloak inside, then use it as a thunderbucket!" Vagbar continued rambling, switching to even less coherent vocabulary until he was a murmur of thinly veiled threats against the grim reaper. A very manly vein of anger started popping from the side of his forehead.
8 days left. Vagbar hereby named them the 8 Days of Manliness, in which he would perform great feats of masculinity, until he defeated death as his ultimate feat. On the 1st day, he climbed Mount Everest, then jumped back to the bottom. Bored, and still with 18 hours left in the day, Vagbar proceeded to fight the mountain with one arm tied behind his back. He knocked the mountain into the pacific ocean with his left hook, and now we call that island Guam.
On the 2nd day, Vagbar wooed all of the women in the entire world, and then turned all of them down because none of them were strong enough to raise one of his children. He then had tea in the middle of the Saharan dessert, just because he could.
And so, Vagbar continued his 8 days of manliness, until every super-manly deed had been completed. He moved buildings, ate copious amounts of food and drink, wore differing types of cologne, and did incredibly foolish acts. He even forced himself into the dictionary, where his picture would be the definition for manliness for years to come. No, for eternity. No, for eternity + 1. His achievements would more than stand the test of time, they would define time.
Finally, his chest hair became too much for him, and he began to choke on that last day. Yet, his choke was manly! Wild animals all over the world heard his guttural cries and bowed their heads in his direction. Then, the moment of reckoning came. Death, on his black chariot, with his black, featureless dog, came riding towards him.
It came of wheels of pure destruction and fire! The brimstone carriage, with neatly trimmed curtains and racing decals, rushed forwards on a cushion of hot air. Death's bone-white smile, accented by all of the bones, widened.
"Finally, your time has come," it cackled. "We have been waiting for you for a long time."
"I gave your mother a long time!" Vagbar screamed his most manly of one-liners, and charged death's chariot.
{Warning, what happened here was so gruesome and manly that the author had to forgo description in order to maintain the sanity of his readers}
Vagbar held Death's pearly white fingers in one hand, while he felt the chill of its palm on his heart. He should have realized that death's leg, ripped off and used to beat it into submission, would have hidden rockets in the femur. It was Death he was dealing with, not any normal skeleton. That explosion temporarily disoriented him, and now here he was, with Death's hands on his heart.
"It's over, Vagbar, you are coming with me." The skeleton's raspy voice echoed in his skull. Vagbar hunched over, it appeared his energy was draining from his heart through death's hand. His mind churned back through the years, a flashback of epic, nay, god-like proportions. He thought about his toddler days, when he first started lifting weights in repetitive movements, like other manly men. Then, his pre-teen days, when he discarded books in favor of arm-wrestling lions. His teenage days, when he decided angst wasn't manly enough, and punched it in the gut, wounding it and giving 1/2 of the teenage population an identity crisis. He continued to think and ponder, until he realized he was drawing strength from his manly memories. He began to straighten, confident in his waxing strength. He grabbed Death's wrist and pulled it out of his chest. Then, he lifted Death and threw him into the chariot. The wheels, made of a polyurethane blend of destruction and fire, imploded with the strength of 3 atomic bombs. Minutes later, Death, regretting investing in the wheels made of a polyurethane blend of destruction and fire, landed on the ground next to Vagbar.
Vagbar looked down. "YARRRR! I win," he said. Death, too stunned to move, acceded. After awhile, it slowly crawled through the ground, back to the underworld.
Vagbar looked around. He didn't know where he was. The cold landscape around him was barren but for a few mountains in the background. Another dimension perhaps? In the end, it didn't matter, there was only one thing he knew; regardless of where he was, there were manly feats to be done, and he was gonna do them.
The, End
Monday, January 4, 2010
The 問題, as I see it.
In a drastic turn for this once dead and now revived (does that make it a zombie?) blog, I won't even mention a thing about Japan. I will throw in Japanese words, though, so get google set in the next tab. It seems my readership has died off, so now is the perfect time to write something a little more controversial.
The Problem with Problems.
The problem with problems is this: too many people rely on messages and morals as opposed to methods. I am thinking mostly of two areas: psychological problems and the way some religions tell us how we should live our lives. So, for example, if I am having a psychic problem, say I procrastinate too much, I think far too many people will stick with the message "I shouldn't be so lazy/I should get motivated/etc. etc. etc." that they repeat to themselves over and over, thinking it will somehow change them. Guess what, it won't. It frustrates me so much when I hear a friend or family member who is having a problem say "well, that's something I have to work on," and leave it at that. You don't know how to "work on it." Saying "I'm going to work on it" and not having a method is the equivalent of saying "I'll build a house" without the architectural plans. In order to fix things, you must have a method. And not just any method, but a psychologically approved (this means it went through rigorous meta-analysis) method. Without that, at best you will be less efficient in fixing your problem, at worst, you will make it even worse.
*Let me specify here that when I write about people who say "that's something I'll work on," I mean people who actually have identified a problem and truly want to work on it.
This concept is also extremely frustrating in the arena of religion and how it tells you to live your life. Obey the 10 commandments, listen to the stories of the apostles, do what Jesus/Muhammad would do. I am not making the argument that there aren't good messages in the stories of the bible. Some of the stories provide great narratives for an ideal of how one should live their life. BUT, again, it is providing you with a message, not a method. Be good. Don't covet thy neighbor's wife. Do this, do that, be this way, not that way. How? HOW? Us humans have this incredible amount of variation. I like pickles, Bill doesn't. Mary likes men, John likes women and men, Matt is into furry fandom. Putting aside the tangled mess of "what is it to be good?" and "what is 'right' and what is 'wrong' (which religions try, to varying degrees, to codify)," the method, the HOW, the "in what ways can I 'walk a mile in my neighbor's shoes (i.e. how can I be a compassionate human being)?'" is totally absent. In the best case scenario, people don't put much belief into religion and aren't affected by it. In the worst case scenario, people who strongly believe in their religion are doomed to never live up to the message, then "sinning," which leads to depression and/or more fervent, extremist beliefs.
I would like to take exception to Buddhism right now, because, from what I've read so far, it provides you with both a good message (extremely good, in my opinion), and methodS. There are many other religions I haven't researched or know much about, that may also fit into this category.
It seems that the main crux of my argument is this: From the message (religious texts, morals handed down by parents, etc.) alone we are unable to truly live a good life or solve a problem. We, by and large, do not have the capacity to spontaneously take the message and turn it into a good method.
*As you are reading this, oh cynical viewer hoping to catch the hyperbolic and extreme, keep in mind the following assumptions I used when writing this. 1) There are always exceptions. I am writing about a majority (X>50%) of the time. 2) Obviously people are able to live satisfying, healthy lives without needing specific methods to solve their problems. But, for those with any sort of problems in the 現在, the most efficient and least-harmful way to solve these problems is with a meta-analytically tested method. Furthermore, there is a distinction between living your life, and living your life in an optimal way for yourself and those around you (which, the author humbly thinks, is with compassion in the psychological/Buddhist sense of the word [both definitions are very close to one another]).
The Problem with Problems.
The problem with problems is this: too many people rely on messages and morals as opposed to methods. I am thinking mostly of two areas: psychological problems and the way some religions tell us how we should live our lives. So, for example, if I am having a psychic problem, say I procrastinate too much, I think far too many people will stick with the message "I shouldn't be so lazy/I should get motivated/etc. etc. etc." that they repeat to themselves over and over, thinking it will somehow change them. Guess what, it won't. It frustrates me so much when I hear a friend or family member who is having a problem say "well, that's something I have to work on," and leave it at that. You don't know how to "work on it." Saying "I'm going to work on it" and not having a method is the equivalent of saying "I'll build a house" without the architectural plans. In order to fix things, you must have a method. And not just any method, but a psychologically approved (this means it went through rigorous meta-analysis) method. Without that, at best you will be less efficient in fixing your problem, at worst, you will make it even worse.
*Let me specify here that when I write about people who say "that's something I'll work on," I mean people who actually have identified a problem and truly want to work on it.
This concept is also extremely frustrating in the arena of religion and how it tells you to live your life. Obey the 10 commandments, listen to the stories of the apostles, do what Jesus/Muhammad would do. I am not making the argument that there aren't good messages in the stories of the bible. Some of the stories provide great narratives for an ideal of how one should live their life. BUT, again, it is providing you with a message, not a method. Be good. Don't covet thy neighbor's wife. Do this, do that, be this way, not that way. How? HOW? Us humans have this incredible amount of variation. I like pickles, Bill doesn't. Mary likes men, John likes women and men, Matt is into furry fandom. Putting aside the tangled mess of "what is it to be good?" and "what is 'right' and what is 'wrong' (which religions try, to varying degrees, to codify)," the method, the HOW, the "in what ways can I 'walk a mile in my neighbor's shoes (i.e. how can I be a compassionate human being)?'" is totally absent. In the best case scenario, people don't put much belief into religion and aren't affected by it. In the worst case scenario, people who strongly believe in their religion are doomed to never live up to the message, then "sinning," which leads to depression and/or more fervent, extremist beliefs.
I would like to take exception to Buddhism right now, because, from what I've read so far, it provides you with both a good message (extremely good, in my opinion), and methodS. There are many other religions I haven't researched or know much about, that may also fit into this category.
It seems that the main crux of my argument is this: From the message (religious texts, morals handed down by parents, etc.) alone we are unable to truly live a good life or solve a problem. We, by and large, do not have the capacity to spontaneously take the message and turn it into a good method.
*As you are reading this, oh cynical viewer hoping to catch the hyperbolic and extreme, keep in mind the following assumptions I used when writing this. 1) There are always exceptions. I am writing about a majority (X>50%) of the time. 2) Obviously people are able to live satisfying, healthy lives without needing specific methods to solve their problems. But, for those with any sort of problems in the 現在, the most efficient and least-harmful way to solve these problems is with a meta-analytically tested method. Furthermore, there is a distinction between living your life, and living your life in an optimal way for yourself and those around you (which, the author humbly thinks, is with compassion in the psychological/Buddhist sense of the word [both definitions are very close to one another]).
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