Morioka and stuff

Well, what has been happening this past weekend. I took a trip to Morioka with Tina, Seth, and Natalie. ‘Twas fun

What shall I write about? I want to write about something clever, fun, and new to those who aren’t living in Japan. I suppose I could write about one complexity of the language. In Japanese, “un” and “uun” are two different words with opposite meanings. “Un,” means “yes,” while “uun” means “no.” To make things even more confusing for you all, this is only in informal form. I’ve been learning the formal form up until now. But don’t worry, I have yet to learn at least one other, more respectful, form.

Japanese must be great for rappers though. All of the sentences end with the verb, and the verbs all end in the same last few syllables (-masu, -masen, -masen deshita, -mashita). Rhyming has to be wicked easy! I can picture the Japanese rappers now, with their long, sonic-the-hedgehog’s back dipped in bleach-hair, sitting around the izakaaya, thinking up lyrics.

“Hey man, what I should I rhyme ‘hanashimasu’ with?”
“How about ‘shimasu,’ ‘kakemasu,’ or any other verb in the formal present/future positive.”
“Oh…yeah.”

I don’t mean to insult or “diss,” as you kids sometimes call it, Japanese music. I’m obviously making an overgeneralization…I think. Regardless, I chose the wrong language to be perapera (fluent) in for my rap star future.

I had the pleasure of going to a Don Don Down on Wednesday (yes, this is all in English on their signpost) in Morioka. They have an interesting fruit and vegetable based economy system. Thinking back, I should have taken a picture. Basically, instead of having price tags on their clothes, they instead have tags of fruits and vegetables (only 1 per item of clothing). The tags correspond with a price, but that corresponding price changes every day. So, a pineapple today costs about 1/2 a mushroom yesterday. Unfortunately, two eggplants and a pineapple was a little out of my price range that day. Very interesting store, I’ll be back for sure.

What else shall I ramble about? Today the annoying kid wouldn’t stop hugging me. He’s a great 1st grader, really, but he’s also the loudest and most interruptive. Every time he sees me, he just runs up and hugs me, saying “hello, hello, hello, hello, hello” ad nauseum. I put a ban on hugs when he is particularly disruptive in class. I don’t think he understands that his behavior is the cause of the single-person hug ban, so I give in and just let it go anyways.

I was in Morioka this past weekend. Tina, Seth, Natalie and I drove down on Saturday. I think “drove down” is an incorrect phrase, because we actually drove in a huge circle before actually driving downwards to Morioka. We arrived quite late, we expected to check into the hotel at 3, but by the time we got to the mall outside of Morioka where we spent a few hours, it was already 5:30. But, this mall had Starbucks, and there were enough Starbucks junkies in the car that it warranted a stop. After the coffee, though, we had to look around the mall. A little Japanese girl somehow got attached to our group.

Actually, I know exactly how. She was on the escalator behind us when she heard Tina, who is of Asian descent, speak a language that wasn’t Japanese. I think it freaked out this little girl’s world, because she couldn’t stop staring at Tina. The little girl followed us around for a good 15 minutes, until she ran away somewhere.

Which was perfect timing, because it was time for Taiko! Yes, sweet game of my existence! The Super Mario Brothers theme song is on the machine, so we, of course, had to play that. I was driving the car, so they had to obey me anyways, hardy har har.*

*Note, pirates have nothing to do with this story, nor do I normally “hardy har har” at people in my regular day-to-day activities.

So, anyways, we made it to the Root Inn much much much later than expected, and it really only gave us time for a short walk down the main street to dinner at this wicked cool café. Then, back to the hotel for onsen and sleep.

On Sunday, Seth and Tina were taking the JLPT (Japanese Language Proficiency Test, aka our entire reason for coming to Morioka). What did this mean for me? I got to accompany the famed shopper, Natalie L from Shingapo-ru, around Morioka. I actually didn’t mind, I need some winter clothes and figured she’d be able to help.

We hit up a second hand clothes shop, didn’t find much (except a hoodie for $1.50), and went downstairs to the Freshness Burger, where I met up with the ordeal of ordering outside the box.

I think Japan likes things in orderly boxes, rules, and regulations. While I’m not always breaking the box (do you break it? Or do you more step out of it if violence isn’t your thing? They need to get a good verb to describe the transition from inside the box to outside the box, but I digress), I took one step too far. Here is a brief transcript from my conversation, trying to order a set of Burger, fries, and drink.

“Sumimasen, may I have this set please?”
“Sure, what do you want to drink?”
“Water please.”
“Oh, you can have any of these drinks on this list.”
“It’s ok, water is fine.”
“But, it’s not on the list.”
“It’s ok, I really like water.”
“Errr….umm…..”
“Ok,” *looks at list* “I’ll take the brown tea.”

We sat around Freshness burger and talked for a good while. Then walked elsewhere to continue the shopping. We hit a mall, that Don Don Down on Wednesday place I mentioned earlier, and so on. I was drained. I won’t say it nearly killed me, but I’ll imply it by leaving the previous phrase in this post.

We made it back to the hotel, and I was dead. Dead as in drained, not dead as in it nearly killed it and then I actually died at the last second. Seth mentioned his point of view when he met us at the hotel. Natalie was sitting and waving at Seth and Tina through the window as they were coming in. My head was back on the chair, legs splayed out, and eyes closed.

So, I was tired, which meant I clammed up for the rest of the trip, which was too bad, but ah well, I was still able to have fun. We had Jaja-men, a special type of noodle found in Morioka. Quite good. We also ran into a ton of other JETs at the restaurant, which was really cool to see.

Afterwards, we went to an asobihodai. Like a tabehodai, where it’s all you can eat, and a nomihodai, where it’s all you can drink, an asobihodai is an all you can play (I coined the term myself, add it to the Japanese dictionary, pronto!). We paid $15 to play as many arcade games and sports as we wanted for 90 minutes.

You know what this means.

Taiko! Batting cages! Airsoft rifles! Soccer, volleyball, archery, badminton, sniper shooting games! It was too much, it was not enough! It was pure bliss with massage chairs mounted with flatscreen TV’s that we didn’t have time for because we were having too much fun elsewhere. It just didn’t last long enough. They did give us free claw-game tickets and 20 coins for playing stuff though. It was a huge maze of free stuff begetting more free stuff, just to keep us in the building. We probably stayed an extra 45 minutes to an hour after we originally planned on leaving. It was such an insidious plot on their part! Well, of course we’ll try to win the stuffed snoopy. 20 coins? Why not try and win more? At one point near the end, I remember looking everyone in the eyes and saying “we have to go, or we’ll never leave.”

And go we did, driving back to Hach. Seth and I didn’t want to end the trip though, so after dropping Tina and Natalie off at their houses, we went to a ramen shop. It’s an interesting thing in that, when Seth gets tired, he talks a lot more, whereas I talk a lot less. Regardless (or, irregardless if you want the extra syllable, [irregardless of which you like, I prefer to use regardless]), we had the most interesting conversation about God. His background as the son of two ministers was a really cool backdrop to the conversation. I won’t go into the details for obvious reasons, but it was really cool and I’d welcome a return to that conversation.

I like being able to write like this. It means you, the reader, are stuck in my solipsis, where my thought process actually make sense because you can　sort of see it working. Ugh, remember when I try talking this way in normal face to face conversation? It just doesn’t come out the same, or come out at all.

Ah, I didn’t mention the Friday night of that weekend! I was invited to a dinner at one of my karate co-students (not sure how to word that) house. His family was so friendly! We stumbled along in Japanese, and everything went well until I asked where his brother was that I saw in the pictures. It turns out he passed away a few months ago…please take a moment for them and their family.

Aside from that quick issue, we jumped back and had a great conversation. I didn’t expect them to keep me so long, so I felt terrible when I told them I had to go to my friend’s birthday in Nanbu. They walked me into the train station, and watched me buy my ticket. Sort of awkward, but ok.

I made it to Matt’s house from there. That family even gave me a gift of 2 nihonshu’s (Japanese alcohol) to give to Matt. We watched Alien 2, and I got their late so I missed the potluck, but it’s ok. Matt, Seth, Joe, Laura, and I went to a bar afterwards. It was only the coolest bar ever. The owner was so chill (and, get this, he doesn’t drink), and the patrons were quite friendly. Too friendly, in fact. The Japanese guy on my right was sniffing our drinks and almost took a taste of mine!

Joe then showed us the Resident Evil bathroom. Complete with windows just waiting for zombie dogs to jump through, the safe room with typewriter, and stairs that we can’t go down until we get the hexagonal key.

Afterwards, we got in a taxi and headed back to Matt’s house. Before going to sleep though, we decided it would be really cool to play his electric drum set upstairs (while some people were sleeping downstairs…), at 3 in the morning. It was cool, you could change the sounds and everything. Luckily no one downstairs woke up, so everything was good.

So, that’s what has been going on with me lately, shoot me some comments and tell me what is happening with you.

T-Day

Happy Thanksgiving, family and friends.

As you know, Japan doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving. Blasphemy, right? Well, for those of us who live in a country with a Plymouth Rock (and perhaps a few too many field-trips to Plymouth Plantation, and by “too many,” I mean one), Thanksgiving is an integral part of our culture.

On Thanksgiving Night, which I shall now designate at T-Day, I got Seth, Melissa, Helen, and Nick to come to my place and make the trek to KFC, the closest thing we can get to a traditional Turkey Dinner. Funny thing about Japanese KFC, due to cultural differences, they don’t have mashed potatoes, nor do they sell huge buckets of chicken. A “Family Meal” is 6 pieces of chicken and 2 packets of fries. Yeah, I paid the price for it and was still hungry afterwards. KFC is apparently synonymous with Christmas in Japan, because they had a registration list, and the Colonel’s statue was bedecked with a red suit and plenty of Christmas cheer.

After making it back to my place, we opened our meals, and had a round of what we give thanks for. Then, it was time for Superbad. I love this movie, it makes me crack up every time I watch it. For those of you who haven’t seen it, it has a lot of rough language, and it’s based around very small grains of truth for males who have gone through the American public High School system. Poor Helen, our proper British/Kiwi friend, she had to preserve her image and blocked her head between her knees to stop the horrible sounds coming from my computer monitor.

So, that was last Thursday’s small Thanksgiving celebration.

We had a much more normal Thanksgiving at Weldon and Crystal’s (a married couple) on Saturday. They had all of the usual fixin’s- turkey, mashed potatoes (which yours truly made), cranberry sauce, etc. etc. We even played football in the schoolyard nearby.

My team, team Turkey Awesome, won the game! With 2 touchdowns, and a third on the way (until the security officer came by and kicked us out), we were clearly the victors.

Afterwards, we returned to their house and watched Starwars (Episode VI, aka the best one), played Jenga, Uno, poker, and the Midwesterners split up and played their alien “Euchre.” Yeah, I don’t know either, it has something to do with cards and being from a geographically unknown region. Yours truly won poker. After edging out the early Kiwi menace (Tina), kicking out the Kentucky Fried Southern leader (Eric), and surviving the great Singaporean drought (Natalie comes in and, in 1 hand, reduces all of our money at least by half), I made it out in the end with all of the money, $36 to be exact.

Sunday, I did a lot of nothing. Which is just what I needed after a busy day and week. I slept late, cleaned, ran some errands (which included filling up my precious kerosene, and getting a terrible haircut), and met up with Paul for dinner at Gusto.

This week, on Tuesday, after Japanese class was Matt’s birthday. Not only was it Matt’s birthday, but a new generation of game has been born. After assigning people around to me positions in my currently fictional, soon to be non-fictional, world takeover, I named someone the Pompadour of Pies. Well, this quickly turned into an all-night game, where each sentence had to have at least one word that started with the letter P. Yours truly was also the unofficial winner (even though this game has no “winners” per se) of this game. Perhaps, one my say that I was the paragon of pithy p-words, a prodigal player proliferate with positively perfect performance. Purple. I can’t wait for next week’s letter.

This week’s entry was brought to you by the Japanese word “marumarumaru.” Because nothing gets your Japanese teacher rubbing her upper chest (not oppai, get your mind out of the gutter) like the word “marumarumaru.”

2 Weeks' Worth Laundry List

Ok, because I missed last week's entry, I'm just going to do a laundry list more for my memory than for your entertainment. Sorry about this, but there's just too much to write and not enough time for me to study Japanese if I write it. So, without further ado.

Two weeks ago Saturday (15th):

• Went to the salmon festival in Oirase with Tina and Natalie. We had salmon nabe with special miso sauce. Afterwards, we walked around all of the cool salmon-inspired things.
• We met up with Grahame, who was working the festival.
• I caught a salmon with my bare hands in the salmon-catch. Afterwards, I paid 300 yen and they cut and cleaned it.
• Existential crisis about killing an animal, don't get me started again.
• We went to the sports store, then my apartment, and met up with Erin.
• Off to Gonohe! We pick up Seth and drive to zazen meditation in Shichinohe.
• We get there right on time, meditate, and have an awesome meal afterwards.
• Back home!

Sunday (16th):

• That fish-market in Hachinohe for lunch.
• Home Center Sunday/Pia Do/Yamada Denki for various shopping stuff.
• French dessert cafe for pre-dinner dessert.
• Yakiniku place for dinner.
• Home to begin the Week again

This past week was the Mid-year seminar. Thursday I got on the train with my supervisor, ran into the other Hach JETs, and seminar'd it up.

My supervisor decided to get a hotel as far away from the seminar as possible. So a 45 minute walk in the snow later, we made it to our hotel. In order to get to the talent show that night, I walked the 45 minutes back to the main street, near the ASPAM building.

The talent show was awesome! I played waiter for a little bit, getting drinks out to everyone. Hands-down, the best talent of the night was Sam dancing to Daft Punk. He wrote the words on his clothes, and by the end of the song, he was moving in a synchronized motion and the words on his body matched with the words in the song. There was a katana demonstration as well, and, the 2nd best talent and best auction for the night was the Rokkasho crew. Normally, their performance wouldn't be so good, but conditions were perfect. It was the end of the night, people were drunk, including the performers, and something crazy had to happen.

After rowing themselves onstage with their makeshift didgeridoos , they proceeded to sing "didgeridoo" into their cardboard tubes. They actually had some cool sort of thing going. Then, the missing Rokkashite (that's what they call themselves) showed up, hitting a small drum-thing and making tribal screeches. It was weird. It was quirky. It was hilarious.

They then auctioned themselves (for the night was both a service auction and a talent show). Of course, when you are drunk, you'll say many things. "We will build you an igloo. Then, we will cook you a 4 course meal inside the igloo, while we play a movie on the ceiling of the igloo. We will find penguins and populate the igloo for your enjoyment. We will do this all shirtless and singing."

How much does such a believable feat go for? 900 dollars. Yep, a group of 4 bought them for 900. Yeah.

Speaking of which, yours truly got $250 for karate and massage lessons.

Afterwards, I then proceeded to walk the 45 minutes to the hotel and passed out.

Friday (21st)

• Went to more seminars.
• Went home.
• Exciting eh?

Saturday (22nd)

• Met up with office at 8:30 for the trip.
• The first drink was popped open at 8:37 AM, and they continued to drink on the bus during the entire day.
• We arrive at a museum of things. Yes, you can tell how much I like old pottery, especially when my only explanation is 亜非ンジャ　(these kanji may not load on your computer, and I just typed them randomly, so I have no idea what they mean).
• Teppanyaki lunch.
• Walk up to an old temple area. I saw a 1000 year old mini-temple made all of gold. It was wicked cool.
• Back on the bus for more drinks and a drive to a museum of an old school near Sendai.
• Over to a really nice hotel.
• Do I really need to onsen with you guys? Ugh, I'll hide in the corner.
• Change and just in time for the main event. Drinking dinner and a set meal.
• Everyone is getting plastered around me. This is sort of funny.
• You guys are pretty cool, and now that I can speak basic Japanese, this is sort of fun.
• Ah, the 1 guy makes a fool of himself at the karaoke. No, Tanaka-san, I will NOT sing for the office! Stop asking me.
• Bedtime? No, not yet, it's time for us to see a chinese acrobat show! These middle and high-school girls are really talented. I didn't think humans could do such things, I'll try and put a picture up.
• Bedtime yet? No, time for us to get Ramen.
• Bedtime yet? No, time for me to walk around the hotel and see what there is. Hint, not much at all.
• Bedtime, how about now? No, I went to room 1411 to watch the guys play Mahjong, drink, and smoke. I felt like one of the guys. You know, the deaf and mute one who just sits and does nothing.
• Ok, finally bedtime. Oh wait, these rooms hold 5 people on futons. And, my supervisor snores.

Sunday (23rd)

• Let's wake up before the sunrise and see it rise beautifully!
• After breakfast, it's time to leave...only to go to the shark marketplace!
• Ok, goodbye shark place, and now, to the sake distillery.
• Woohoo, lots of sake and a good lunch at this olde-fashioned place. Very cool, but wow, you guys really like to drink.
• How much do they like to drink? Enough to go to the winery right after the sake distillery. Yep. I did buy myself a nice bottle of wine afterwards though.
• Ok, you all found out that I'm going to a jazz concert afterwards and might not make it on time. I really don't want to cause a fuss, so please, stop offering to drive me when we get back, I'll just take the bus.
• Ok Tanaka-san, thanks for the ride. You have a really cool family.
• Hey, Jazz concert, very fun.
• Hey, I could still go for a few drinks, you interested? Yes? Ok, if you say this is a good pizza place, let's go!
• Taxi, please, take me back to Shiriuchimachi post-haste!

Monday, the day off:

• Went with Paul for all you can eat Yakiniku. We got our money's worth.
• Random errands, including changing my tires.
• Cleaning, trying to pry myself away from the piano.
• Oyasuminasai.

And now to study Japanese.

Dracula, Bowling, the Surprise Enkai (Beef), and Okonomiyaki

So I taught with flamboyant Dracula today. Aside from the fact that his English sounded like Dracula, he carried himself in a vaguely vampiric and effeminate way. He also had shaved the hair off his hands, I could tell from the hand-stubble. Japanese people are really hairy, so I could understand his desire to do such a thing...but don't let the stubble grow out. I think it's a common feeling that a 5 o'clock shadow should only be on your face.

The funny thing about Dracula is that he's a great teacher. He was extremely energetic, and it was so infectious that the kids were rapt with attention. They actually enjoyed learning English. Hell, I would too if my teachers were like him.

Sidenote: There’s a woman who came in to speak with one of the administrators in my office, and her 1 year old child is wearing a pair of pants that say “relish” on the butt.

Now I’ll recount what I did last weekend, both for my own record-keeping and also for your enjoyment.

Friday night I went with a friend to buy heating things for my apartment. Right now the inside of my apartment is pretty cold, and it will only get colder. I’ve already broken out the electric blanket for my bed, but now it’s time for more drastic measures. I already own a heating carpet, and soon I’ll be buying a kotatsu heater. A kotatsu is a table with an electric heater underneath it. You put a blanket or futon on top, and then climb on underneath. Even though it only heats the bottom half of your body, it is a great, low-cost way to stay warm in under-insulated apartments. Friday night I bought some plastic wrap made to cover your windows, adding another layer of insulation. Since there are 2 huge windows above my bed, I really needed the insulation.

Ok, enough about me being cold and trying to protect myself. After buying winter things, we went to a Ramen shop for dinner, and then bowling down in Downtown Hach. At the bowling arena, Tina, Wade, Paul, Erin, and I had a battle of fate! The strikes and spares were flying, the points were climbing higher and higher. But alas, at the last frame, only two remained, me vs. Tina.

Now, I’ll give you an insider’s look at my strategy. See, when things get close, such as in this baseball game, I sell my soul to the devil (or any other pagan god/demi-god that pops into my mind) in order to secure my victory.

Funny thing about the devil and his sense of humour*, I lost by 3 pins! Game 2 was a little better and I won by a good margin.

*Please note my British spelling of humour, which is about a million times better than your pitiful spelling of “humor.”

After the epic bowling, we were at a loss of what to do. Where shall we go? What should we do with all of our spare time? Karaoke? Nah. Izakaaya? I can’t drink because I’m driving. Arcade attached to the bowling alley? Sweet as*. I only played the best game ever, the Taiko drum game. There was a 4 player shooting game that we tried as well, with huge fake assault rifles and a terribly stereotyped American Army backdrop, but Taiko was the best. Oh, and also the purikura.

*Please note my use of kiwi slang “sweet as.” In the words of my flatmate from New Zealand, who happens to be kiwi as: “It’s not `sweet,` it’s `sweet-as.`”

Unfortunately, the building was shutting down, and it was time for us to go home. I dropped everyone off and slept very well that night.

Saturday I had a surprise enkai (office-party). The head-boss is leaving, and this lunch was a good-bye party for him. Why was it a surprise? They didn’t tell my until Friday afternoon. Thanks guys, I guess brevity’s your thing (10 yen to anyone who guesses the movie that’s spun off from). Not quite proper use of brevity, but I wanted to include it anyways.

So, at 12 we got into 2 cars and drove to Takko town, famous for it’s garlic and beef (check my earlier post of the garlic and beef festival I went to). We went to a yakiniku restaurant (you grill your own slices of meat with your pals) and began to drink our beer, wine, sake, all while eating some of the best, tenderest meet I’ve ever had. There was also some surprise meat there too, like the cow-tongue and something from “the inside of the body, like the stomach.”

Speaking of surprise beef, I was turning over some slices of beef (with my chopsticks, of course) and flame spat up, which caused my to fling the slice (keep in mind these are all bite-sized, chopstick friendly slices) into the air. Where else does it land but my vice-principal’s lap. Despite the shock and horror on my face, my vice-principal only looked at it through his beer goggles, and in a big voice said “BIKURI GYUUNIKU!” (SURPRISE BEEF!). If only he ate it, then it would’ve been the single most hilarious thing I’ve seen in Japan.

After the enkai, we daiko’d it back to Hachinohe, and I walked to my apartment. At this point, I just collapsed on the bed. I woke up an hour later, just in time to meet up with Seth and drive to Ariel’s birthday dinner. At this point, I felt sort of sick from stuffing myself with the beer and beef, but I went ahead anyways.

Dinner was at the one and only Bon. Only four of us were able to go that night, so Seth, Erin, Ariel, and I were there. We even got the comfy kotatsu table on the first floor, which I’ve been eyeing ever since I’ve been to Bon. We had a lot of cool conversation, and I’m really glad I decided to go, because after awhile, I began to feel a lot better. Just in time for Kappa’s delicious seafood everything stew.

Afterwards, we went to a café, hung out for awhile more, and then returned to my apartment to eat Seth’s home-made pumpkin pie. It was really fun, and the heating carpet came in really handy for keeping us warm.

Sunday there was a big lunch at an Okonomiyaki place called Teppei. Now, I have an unhappy past with okonomiyaki. I hate mayonnaise, and I also hate the brown sauce they put on top of the okonomiyaki. Why did I go? Because at this place you can make your own okonomiyaki (that’s a bitch to type, by the way), sans mayonnaise and brown sauce. For once it was actually tasty! Afterwards, we also played a party game that Jin-sensei just happened to have in her purse. You have to use lacquered chopsticks to move 10 beans from one bowl to another.

Our get-together was only supposed to be lunch, but it ended up turning into an all-day affair. After lunch, we got dessert at the food-court in Pia Do. We were there just talking for a long while, and when we realized it turned to dinner time, we all decided to go together since we happened to be together. Gusto, which was right around the corner, was our target. By this time, the huge group was pared down to only Erin, Ai, Jin-sensei, Nick, Oliver, and Ai’s friend. It was really fun, we got tables next to each other and continued on talking and hanging out. Finally, 8 hours after the start of our lunch, we all headed home. I cleaned the apartment a little bit, played a little piano, and went to bed, not even thinking about the fun I’d have teaching with Dracula this week.

Yesterday, I was a few minutes late to my school in Negishi. I felt really bad about it! I know, it was only a few minutes, but still. Usually on the schedule I get, the put on the time I should arrive at the school in order to go over the lesson plan. I guess this school put the time that the classes started, so I had to jump in while the class was already moving! Ack. It ended up being ok though, the students were wonderful, the teachers were understanding (at least, to my face, I’ve heard that they way they are to your face versus what they actually think are very different things, but since I never get to saying anything but what they present to my face, I suppose that doesn’t matter so much), and the principal and I talked for a good hour (in English!) after I was officially done at the school. I felt much better

Remember last week when I was telling you about the sweet potatoes? Well, I guess my role as a farmhand has spread out to other schools too. I have officially learned how to thrash soba seeds and harvest rice after it has been cut (this was at Herai, the best school). It was really fun, I learned something new and I got a chance to bond with my students.

Well, that’s about it for the highlights of the past week. Have a great week yourself, and I’ll update you soon.

Tokyo

Good day.

This past week was great! Obama won! I haven't lost all of my faith in Americans now. I also went to Tokyo with Grahame last weekend for the 3-day weekend, which was amazingly awesome. I wish I could be there right now...Ah well. Here, let me tell you all about the weekend.

We took the Shinkansen on Friday at 7, and we arrived at Tokyo Station around 10. I actually just came from Seth's mini-birthday get-together at an izakaaya near the station. Anyways, in Tokyo, we somehow managed to get to Akihabara, aka geek-kingdom, and wandered to our capsule hotel.

Wait, capsule hotel? What is that, you may ask? It's a cheap hotel where your "room" is actually a 2x3 meter capsule. Coffin, if you like. I actually didn't quite fit, my legs were just a little too long for the capsule, but I managed to make it just fine. When you are ready for sleep, you pull down this little window shade at the entrance of your capsule. The capsule itself includes TV, Radio, and a fire alarm. The Japanese sure know how to make efficient use of space.

So after checking in, Grahame and I decide to go out on the town in Akihabara, see the sights, so to say. Well, the sights in Akihabara are all closed at night. (funny side note, they are also all closed in the morning, seriously, Akihabara must only be open between the hours of 3 and 4). So, instead of the electronic epileptic seizures I was expecting, we found a 24 hour ramen shop and called it a night.

The next day we got up bright and early to see all of the sights in Tokyo. We got our breakfast at a burger joint outside Akihabara station. Burgers in Japan, they’re like, well, burgers…made in Japan. They’re just not quite right ever. So, I’ll correct my first sentence, we had burger-like food for breakfast.

After breakfast, we met up with Mari near the Edo-Tokyo museum. It was great to see her again! It was also sort of weird, because I’m used to her in America, and now I’m seeing her as a Japanese person and my schema got all mixed up. Anyways, we walked around the area a little bit and went to…Mos Burger for lunch! Ok, so I’ve had “burgers” for 2 out of 3 meals so far.

After lunch, we went to the Edo-Tokyo museum, which was really cool. Old Japanese things (including swords) woohoo! If you check my pics on facebook, you’ll see what I’m talking about.

We had a great time there, and afterwards we took the train to Asakusa. Asakusa was wicked cool! There were huge Tori Gates and an even huger temple and shrine. But, between the gigantic tori and the temple were tons of street merchants and literally a sea of Japanese people. There was a cool machine that made azuki treats and you could buy them warm off the press. For those of you not in the know about Japanese desserts, azuki is crushed up beans. Yep. As they say in Japan, dericious. It’s actually surprisingly good, but I still lack the language to communicate that vegetables don’t constitute dessert.

So anyways, after literally swimming through Japanese people, we get to the temple, do a few little prayers (ok, how does it go again? Throw in money, clap twice, ring the bell, pray, clap again) and head out to walk around Asakusa.

There we ran into some ninjas!

We headed into a café to take a break and prepare ourselves for the night. It was good to recoup. It was also decided (thank you Grahame) that we would go to the one haven of America food, the one place in Tokyo where we knew we could get our cholesterol-laden, butter-covered, steaks with a side o’ bloomin’ onion: Outback. Yes, there exists one in Tokyo, in Shibuya (good nightlife-place) no less. So, up and at ‘em.

We got off at Shibuya, where we met up with Seth and Natasha (Mari’s friend who also happens to be a GW student. This is where Mari described to me the perils that await. “This one intersection, right here, see all of the people crowding around at the edge of each corner?”
“You mean the 5,000 people staring at us across the street?”
“Yeah, they want to be where we are standing, and we want to be where they are standing. This street is the human collision place.”
I stared across the street at the vast amount of black-haired people who, anytime now, were going to power-walk across the street, all aiming to get to where I was standing right now.

Gulp.

Then, the light changed! People were streaming everywhere! I tried dodging while taking pictures, my camera raised above my head like that over-eager student in your poli-sci class who won’t shut up. I bumped, smacked, and stumbled across the street. And then, it was over as quickly as it started.

We continued walking towards outback. And then I was told the dramatic story of the famous Docomo Dog (or Shibuya dog, I can’t remember).

“So, there was this dog that waited for his master everyday, and one day his master didn’t show up, and the dog still waited.” Thanks for the drama and the storytelling guys, I really feel the emotion.

Anyways, we made it to delicious Outback. I had the All-American half-rack of ribs and chicken; my two American compadres got steaks. Mari’s boyfriend, Toyo, met up with us there, and we had a great (American-sized portion, finally) meal.

With out bellies full, we headed out to see Shibuya nightlife. We were hustled on the street by some guy who told us he could get us all you can drink for 1300. So, we waited in the arcade 15 minutes and proceeded to the izakaaya for our nomihodai.

3,000? What? Nice try, izakaaya workers, we’re threatening to leave. Thanks for talking them down to 2,000, Mari. Ah, all you can drink for $20 for 2 hours, I can deal with that. Oh, and Dharma and Greg is playing (without sound) on all of the TVs around the izakaaya? Uh, sure.

So we had our fun at the izakaaya and called it a night. Seth and I planned on going to the fishmarket the next morning (it opens at 4:30 and closes at 8), but luckily it isn’t open on Sunday, which meant I could sleep in my capsule a little bit later.

Sunday, Grahame and I (Seth went to visit his grandfather) went to Harajuku, after our burger-breakfast, of course, to see all of the people dressed up. Sunday in particular, Japanese people dress up in crazy outfits in Harajuku. I wish I could explain why, but I can only tell you that I found the shops where they sell these outfits. I got a free hug from the people giving out free hugs, and then we had to go.

After some pictures, we headed to Tamanakobaba to see Waseda University’s school festival. Remember when I was writing earlier about Japan being really crowded. Yeah, this was the worst. I think it ceased to be people, and instead became some huge Nihonjin beast, and you had to edge your way over into the correct crowd of people moving in the correct direction in order to get anywhere. Grahame and I were suckered into buying some “tasty Japanese sweets.” Ok, remember a few paragraphs ago when I was writing that vegetables don’t count as desserts. Well, I haven’t spread the word far enough, because I had vegetable-mochi ball things with a small smattering of chocolate on top. We had a few funny looks from Japanese people considering we were all foreign and stuff, so we ate our candy and left.

We met up with Mari for a few minutes since she had a huge chorus concert she was part of. After watching some terrible, terrible hip-hop groups try and dance, Seth made it to the University and the 3 of us watched some traditional Japanese dances, the band, and some overly ecstatic male cheerleaders.

On our slow way out from the festival, we stopped by and bought Waseda beer. It was ok, but perhaps a little too pale ale-ish. We sat down on the steps of a closed store to drink our beer, and all of the Japanese people walking by gave us 1 of 2 looks. The surprised “wow, what are they doing? Drinking in public is legal here, but I am so confused.” Or the “oh foreigners…” look.

So, walking with our beers in hand to the Tamanakobaba (haha, say that 3 times fast) train station, we got on the train headed to Harajuku again. We were hoping to see the temple there before the sun set, but we didn’t quite make it. So instead, we walked around Harajuku, seeing funny posters, weird people, and taking in the sites.

We got dinner at some really awesome British pizza place (are you getting the “anything but Japanese food” theme we had?), and then went to this wicked awesome Docomo cell phone building. They had prototype cell phones that could fold into boxes, could turn into functional drumsticks, piano keys, and guitars. They also had a game where you sat down in a chair facing a partner, and the chair vibrated with that person’s heart-rate, and you had to click a button on your chair when their heart beat while they were doing the same thing. Then the machine rates the bond between you and that person. Seth and I got “best friends,” but I was more interested in to know about that woman behind the counter, maybe next time.

Unfortunately, Seth had to take the night-bus home, so we headed to Tokyo station and went to an Irish pub, got some food or drink, and, on our way back to the station, were asked if we wanted a massage. No massage, thank you, we’ll just keep walking.

Grahame and I then headed to Shinjuku to check out the nightlife there. We passed by our Orientation Hotel…ah good memories Keio Plaza Hotel. We passed by some familiar places, just as we hit the actual downtown, it was time to catch our last train. How did we know this? The mass exodus of Japanese people all heading in one direction.

I do have one gripe. On the way to downtown, we saw a few foreigners harassing Japanese people. This one guy had something in his hand and then he’d get in the way of Japanese people who were walking by and show it to them or something. What the hell? 1) Why would you do that? 2) Are you mentally challenged? 3) What’s your problem? 4) I’m gonna go with mentally challenged. Really though, that’s a great way to reinforce all of those negative foreigner stereotypes they have here. Thanks, guys.

Ok, that ended our night. Now we're at day 3. Phew, almost done typing this.

We woke up in the capsule hotel and sadly had to say goodbye. I enjoyed my time sleeping in a coffin, but alas, back to expansive beds and big rooms for me. I actually met a Japanese guy who was living in the capsule hotel- he didn’t have a job and said it was the cheapest thing for him.

So, Grahame and I went to Harajuku to check out that temple. It was the awe-inspiring. I wrote about it in my first post, and this second trip there was no less amazing. In the middle of Tokyo, it’s just this huge temple and forested area. So awesome. Again, check my pictures to get the full story.

After this, we made our way to Tokyo Station, got our Tokyo Banana omiyage, and headed on the Shinkansen back to Hachinohe.

BUT there’s a little bit more!

The bathroom on the shinkansen has a window in it. It’s a one person at a time bathroom, and people can look at you and pretty much see what you’re doing. Luckily for me, it’s just my back they are seeing, but still!

So, we made it home safe and sound, and I didn’t want the weekend to end. But it did, and now I’m back in Hach.

But there’s more!

Some random things, sure, I’ll call it Random Japan, that happened I forgot to write about:

I was getting my gas filled up at a small gas station halfway between by home and my schools. A woman knocks on my window, so I open my door, and she gives me a bag of apples and runs away! I didn’t have time to ask her “what?” or say “hi” or anything. I don’t think she knows me, I was far away from places where people know me, so I’m just really confused.

I also got the chance to harvest sweet-potatoes with my students. Yep, I borrowed some boots, and after lunch we went out with the whole school and harvested sweet potatoes. Alright.

Ok, I will hopefully add pictures to this to flesh out the story. Have a great week!

Good afternoon.

We're going to start this entry with a "Threat Down!" borrowed from the one and only Stephen Colbert. Today's Threat Down is the zombie infestation I wrote about last week. Turns out, the zombies were, in fact, just normal Japanese people. Who would've guessed?

Today has been great so far! We celebrated Halloween at my favorite school, Herai Elementary school. We did a trick-or-treat simulation throughout the entire school (these poor Japanese children will never know what it's like to do real trick-or-treating). I dressed as a mummy (toilet paper, of course) and gave out candy. Afterwards, the students, who were broken in groups put on little 5 minute plays and introduced their group and costumes. I was one of the judges. My favorite of the day was the Super Mario Brothers' themed group. They even put on a play where Mario saves the princess. Ah, so good. Also, the entire office is so friendly, they are very talkative, and they let me try Japanese and they try English, it's a lot of fun.

Afterwards, I played soccer with the kids outside for recess. It was just a good day.

Let me recount my weekend for you (and my selfish records).

Saturday was the Halloween Event and Party we JETs put on for the children in Hachinohe. It was a big event, held at Hotel Washington, and we had maybe 450-500 children come. Basically, we put on a few skits and tour the children around downtown Hachinohe, with some vendors offering to do trick-or-treating for us. Afterwards (and this is where I came in), we had the children do arts and crafts. Halfway through, the lights turn off, scary music plays, and the "Scary Monsters" come out!

I was the terrifying "Ketchup Monster!" I cut up one of my shirts and used ketchup (I couldn't find fake blood), then wrapped twine around my upper-body. With my inside-out cat mask, the costume was complete. I was joined by The Terminator, played by Matt Cosnett, and some Japanese university students with scream masks (hint, if you want to be scary, you need to make some noise, I'm talking to you Japanese students!). We only got one child to cry. At first I felt bad, until I saw her dad video-taping her crying. He gave me the Japanese equivalent of thumbs up (they use the "ok" hand gesture).

Sidenote: speaking of Japanese gestures, the "come here" gesture is the same as our "scoot along" gesture, palm down with fingers going in and out. It's very confusing, and my reaction is pretty much to back away, then come closer when I see them do it quicker, then back away again, then get closer. This pretty much happens until they make a move.

After the event, I got dinner at Bon with Matt, Melissa, Sam, Adam, and Theresa (from Shichinohe). The food was good, as usual, and we made it out in time for the Halloween Party to start at a bar called Oldies, which Everest of Apples (a JET charity based in Aomori) hosted. I switched my costume, with a little help from Erin, Greg, and Ariel at the 390 Yen shop at Cino. And when you are presented with cheaply-made clothing and kitschy stuff, what is the only costume you can make? Well, a pimp costume of course.

It actually turned out really good, and I was told by a lot of people that I should've run for the costume contest. Arg, maybe next year, haha. It was very interesting though, Westerners could totally tell what I was going to be, the Japanese at the party...well, instead of trying to explain the mechanics of selling such things, I just told them I was a crazy person. Yep. They believed it too (one guy kept repeating it everytime I walked by).

Other notable costumes: Sarah Palin, Joe the Plumber (yes, they planned it separately), a ninja-spouse duo (complete with cookie-cutter "throwing stars"), and a Japanese Darth Vader.

It was a lot of fun, and I went home after the party. I had 5 people stay at my house that night, so it was a little full. 3 of them didn't make it to my place until 5:30 am...one could say they were pretty out of it. Luckily my apartment is quite large, and I could've fit at least 2 more comfortably, and probably squeezed a lot more. Also, thanks to my predecessors, I have about a million futons, which means I can comfortably sleep 6 people and they don't need to bring anything. I should probably be opening up a hotel.

Sunday I was planning to go hiking in Towada, but after the craziness of the previous day, I just stayed in. Cleaning my apartment, which needs perpetual cleaning (why can't it just stay clean?! There's always more to do!), and doing some grocery shopping.

Monday was Paul's birthday, and a small group consisting of Mike, Wade, Paul, and myself, all went to Bon, which is still the best restaurant here by far. Paul just turned 22, now he's officially a 20-something.

Tuesday was Seth's birthday. He turned the magical age of 23. After Japanese class, we went to the Golden Palki for dinner and had some cake and delicious dinner.

Ok Japan, earlier in the post I allowed you a threat down, but I don't just give out freebies like that. Now it's time for a "Threat Up!" What is the problem now? When Japanese can't decipher English words that are almost exactly the same as Japanese words. (For those of you who don't know this, Japan has a whole alphabet dedicated to words they borrow from other languages.) So, when you ask me what "bideo-gemu" I like, and I answer "Final Fantasy," you are NOT ALLOWED to look at me all confuzzled until the teacher translates it to "Finaru Fantashi." No! Not allowed! I interpreted your "bideo-gemu," so you can just as well interpret my Final Fantasy.

Speaking of "bideo-gemu's," Paul downloaded Mega Man IX. We've been playing that a lot. It's old-school fun at it's best. With Cement Man and Gravity Man down, no one can stop us! No one!

This weekend I'm going to Tokyo with Grahame! I leave tomorrow on the Shinkansen, and since we have Monday off, we'll have a good 3 days there. We're going to meet up with my friend Mari, and we'll traipse all around Tokyo. I can't wait, it should be wicked exciting.

See you next week. Maybe if you're lucky I'll put pictures up. Maybe.

A Little Zombie, a Little Ponyo

Warning!

I think there are zombies in Japan. Ok, sometimes I fantasize about zombie attacks and how I would survive, but this is actually real. I was driving my car back to the office from my school, and I saw two women who I’m pretty sure were zombies. How do I know?

How do zombies walk? In a dazed, haphazard fashion, until they sense living tissue and make a mad hobble for it.

How do zombies look? Pale, lifeless eyes and stained clothing.

Bam. The women I saw fit both characteristics. One was hobbling left and right, her head flopping like a bobble-head. The other woman was down the street, a grandmother, and she was immobile, except for a vaguely menacing look in my direction as I drove past.

I will keep you updated on the zombie-warning in Japan. I’m pretty confident in my zombie-survival skills, so don’t worry too much about me.

What happened this past weekend? Well, let me enlighten you.

Friday night, I met up with Paul and Tina at the outside Ramen Shops (Ramen Alley) for a few drinks. Imagine a ton of little bars outside and cool Japanese style, and that’s what you get. We went to an “Okinawan style”one, it was pretty good. We got a few drinks, had some freshly cooked seaweed (I saw her pulling it out of an aquarium) and relaxed. Afterwards, we went to “Ethnic Bar” for some “ethnic” drinks. And by ethnic, I mean, random décor from all over. Again, it was a lot of fun.

Now, we begin the crazy busy weekend. Saturday, I had my elementary school’s chorus concert. They sang, they performed plays, I understood about 0, and I was there from 9-12:30. I’m proud that I am that dedicated. Afterwards, I went to a ramen shop, then headed to a temple to kill 3 hours before my Jr. High School’s pre-festival festival. After walking around, I tried sleeping in my car. I didn’t expect to fall asleep, and I didn’t, but it was good just to close my eyes since I was so tired.

Then, I headed to Shingo Jr. High. The students were doing things. Yes, things. I still don’t understand Japanese…so that means I go to these things and just sit. Yep. Special things of note, I was a guest singer for The Souji’s (The Cleaners). I helped them sing Ponyo (be careful, it will stay inside your head and destroy your brain cells). Then, I was given the surprise “Greg, now is time for you to play the piano.”
“Today?!”
“Yes.”
“Now?!”
“Yes.”
“Um…ok.”
So I got up and played half of Clair de Lune and half of Liebestraume, which I haven’t practiced in forever. I sort of mixed them together, but I think it turned out ok.

That night was…you guessed it, time to meditate and drink with the monk! Unfortunately, I wasn’t smacked with the wooden board. Afterwards, it was the same as last time. They brought out tons of food (gyoza, soups, random vegetables) and drinks. We had a lot of fun sitting around and talking, drinking, and generally having a good time. I went with Seth and Erin this time (and we met up with Brandon and Takafume), but we didn’t go with the Japanese to karaoke. Instead we drove back to Hach/Gonohe. I crawled into bed late that night, and woke up and got to Shingo bunkasai early the next morning.

So, all of Sunday, I spent sitting down, again, not understanding any of the plays or music. There were some funny slapstick things that I was able to enjoy, but that was about it.

After the bunkasai, the plan was to go to Gonohe’s Makiba onsen for our enkai. So, I drove to Gonohe, had dinner with Seth, and he drove me to my enkai. Quick sidenote: we discovered how to make toast with his inverter microwave! Yeah, I’m proud. The enkai was fun, aside from the eating and drinking, it’s just a great time to learn about the teachers who are oh-so-silent in the office. I did a lot of talking, and my Japanese has been getting better and better, so we were able to communicate a lot more. A lot of the men smoked in the room, so I also ended up smelling like cigarettes. Afterwards, I called Seth to pick me up (it felt like I called my dad to pick me up from a middle school dance), and I crashed at Seth’s place.

Time to begin a new week.

This weekend is the Everest of Apples Halloween Party and the Halloween Tour for Hachinohe children. I’ve signed up to be a monster, so I get to scare little children. Sweet.

What else is going on? I think all of the weird things that consistently happen here are becoming more normal. Or, a better way to put it would be, my body and mind is finally used to the fact that random, unexplainable things constantly happen here. So I end up ignoring them, or just waiting for them to play out since everything ends up turning out ok. Because of this, I can’t think of anything right now! It’s frustrating.

Arg, I can’t think of much else, so I’ll just write a few non-Japan related things and leave it here.

1) Read the Dark Tower series. It’s wicked good. Stephen King writes fantasy in the epic adventure style of Roland, and it turns out amazing. This series is almost up there with George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire, but gets a few bonus points for being finished and clocking in at 7 books.

Wow, this post was lackluster, so…hopefully next week’s will be better. Have a good week.

Quick Request

I have one request for you, Japan. If you are going to have 1-way streets, please do not put traffic lights that are facing the incorrect driving direction. When you do this, it makes people think that they are driving in the correct direction.

I think you might be able to guess what happened today. It's ok though, it was a harmless accident. No one was even close to getting hurt...the streets are too small and narrow to go more than 10 mph anyways. Oh, Japan!

Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shit! and Culture Day, eehhh?!?!

Good day to you, reader.

Let me first start with a recap of my weekend. Friday was Culture Day. All of the JETs in Aomori-ken go to Aomori-shi (Aomori City) to take part in 1 seminar and 3 classes of random things of Japanese culture. I attended a lecture on sumo, complete with business-suit man and friend pretending to sumo for us (I lost 10 yen betting on the lecturer to win the match). Then, I went to a Taiko class, where I got to play the Taiko drums, traditional Japanese drums. It was wicked fun! Then, I went to paint a fish. Yeah, that was on the bottom of things I wanted to do, but I got stuck with it, so oh well. It was as fun as…well, painting a few pieces of paper and gluing them together to make a fish.　　Lastly, I learned how to put on a yukatta (kimono). The men’s kimonos are much easier to put on than women’s, and we got some good pictures of all of us dressed up.

Afterwards I went to dinner with a group of about 13 JETs at an Italian place called Mare Luna. The chef there actually lived in Italy, and he speaks fluent English and Italian. The food was amazing, and you could see him through the open kitchen making everything by hand. I also found a few other Martial Arts students. A few of us went outside to mess around, and I ended up doing this cool Jiu Jitsu exercise. Shane (the guy who showed it to us) and I were in a stalemate for a good 1/2 hour, but he got me in the end when I got a little sloppy with my defense. It was so much fun, though, I’m looking forward to the next JET get together so we can rematch.

After dinner, I was dropped off at the train station and took the local train home to Hach. Thank god my apartment is right off the main station, because I crawled into bed and slept for a good long time.

Saturday, I went hiking at Hashikami Mountain, in Hashikami. We had a great hike up, even though it was starting to get a little chilly. At the top, we were treated to a gorgeous (if windy) view of Hachinohe and the sea. It was simply beautiful. There was also a shrine up there, and we prayed to the Japanese gods and got some great pictures.

Afterwards, we got dinner at the geodesic dome we passed by on the drive to Hashikami. The food was great, and we talked about Fantasy Novels, Graphic Novels, and other awesome fantasy-related phenomenon. Wait, there are other people out there with the same interests as me? This does not compute. At GW, I only met 1 or 2 other people with these same interests as me. Thank god I escaped!

After dinner, we ended at my apartment, watched Nick’s college-made movie, and then everyone left and I went to bed.

Sunday I hit up a school bazaar at Mark’s school. It was pretty cool, they had a lot of cheap everything (even electronics). I only ended up with 2 cutting boards and some onions, but it was a lot of fun. Especially since the high school students were so friendly, they were willing to try to talk with us. Mark seemed to be having a good time as he was showing us around. Afterwards, I went back home and began the cleaning/relaxing.

This continued into the next day, Monday, a national holiday. I worked up a big sleep debt from Nagano, so I wanted to catch up on that. I also wanted to clean my spare room and make room for my piano! I got the piano on Tuesday, and it’s been the best purchase! It was pretty easy to set up, and now I can practice whenever I want. The room also has the best ambience, by far in my apartment. A little more cleaning and it will be perfect.

Getting the 66kg piano up the 4 flights of stairs (known as the rape stairs because they are so dark and scary) was not fun. Greg, a university teacher at Hachinohe University, was kind enough to help me out with his minivan to bring the piano home. He was also kind enough to help bring it up the stairs.

After dragging the piano upstairs, I made it to Japanese class just in time. I’ve been bumped up to level 3, so it was my first day starting that class. The teacher speaks very quickly, but I’m looking at it as a challenge. I really want to be fluent in Japanese, so this is just one more step in the right direction.

So, I’m at Toyosaki-cho, teaching a group of 5th graders, and they want to learn the American version of “Janken” (that rock, paper, scissors thing I was talking about in a previous post). I teach them “rock, paper, scissors, shoot,” and they faithfully repeat after me, “rock, paper, scissors, shit!” After a few rounds of hearing my own inside joke, I had to correct them…sadly.

Lately, my car has been having problems. On the way back from a school, I was pulling into my parking spot at the office, and the car just stalled, and kept stalling whenever I turned the car on. I figured out after a lot of trial and error, that the motor wasn’t revolving fast enough to keep the car going. I told my supervisor, and it’s getting fixed on Friday. Unfortunately, right now I drive the car by revving the engine a bit to get it over 1,000 revs/min. As long as I’m putting gas in, it’s fine because the engine revolves, but when I am at a stop, the engine slows down too much. When I get to a stop-light, I slide the car into neutral, keep the engine revved at 1,000 rev/min, and then slide it into drive when the light changes. It gets old after awhile, and I think the people next to me think I’m about to race them. When they zoom off at the green, though, I’m still chillin’ there in neutral.

What else has happened this past week? Ah yes, I got lunch at the cafeteria with a coworker, and I was reprimanded for not slurping my soup. I was told that, in Japan, if you do not slurp your soup and noodles, it is signaling that the food is bad. I’d forgotten this little bit of trivia, and now my feelings go out to all of those Ramen shops where I didn’t slurp.

Ok kids, I’m going to share with you a secret about my writing, however lackluster or amazing you think (and you’d better be thinking amazing) it is. I’m exaggerating a little! Yes, just like any good storyteller, I am ever-so-slightly stretching the truth, in case you were unable to tell. For example, in my previous paragraph, I wasn’t reprimanded for not slurping. In fact, my coworker and I had a good laugh over him nicely reminding me to slurp. Also, my heart doesn’t really go out to all of those Ramen shops; I don’t like slurping, and I consider it kind of rude from my Western viewpoint. In fact, I don’t even like taking a bite and having noodles hanging out of my mouth!

Phew, now that I’ve gotten that off of my chest, I shall, in this week’s Random Japan, enumerate the top two weirdest things I’ve noticed that are endemic to Japan.

Coming in at both last and second is the awkward jog. The first few times, I just thought that the person was exceptionally uncoordinated and in a hurry. Not so. Everyone in Japan uses this. I think the best way to explain it is to have you picture Elaine, from Seinfeld, doing her awkward dance. Now, imagine she is using her infamous awkward dance to go places. Yeah, it’s that bad. For those of you who didn’t watch Seinfeld (you don’t count as people anymore), imagine that you are jogging somewhere, even if it’s only 10 feet away, and your arms stay straight down to your sides while you jog forward. Yeah, it’s that awkward.

It seems that there are a few specific times when a Japanese person will use the “awkward jog.” 1) To pretend that you are hurrying someplace without quite running, and without quite walking. 2) To convince your boss that you are a motivated worker. 3) To actually hurry someplace without quite running or walking (?) 4) To provide me unexplainable entertainment.

Ironically my coworker just did it now! Amazing luck. He ran about 15 feet to get a pad of post-it notes. Hmm, maybe they can pick up my thoughts. Man, did I ever tell you about Japanese generosity? They just go over to foreigners and give them money. Lots of money. Come on. Please? No, don’t awkward jog again! It seems they are stuck on that thought, maybe next time.

Coming in 1st place of weird, Japan-wide phenomenon, is the “eeehhhhhhhhh?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!” There aren’t enough words or punctuation marks to properly explain. This simple exclamation is enough to make grown adults sound 5, and to make 5 year olds sound mentally challenged. I’m being a bit harsh. I actually love that sound, it’s just so surprising and funny, and you can extend the sound for a longer period of time than the “What?!” that we use. I’ll have to take a video of it so you can understand, there just aren’t words to describe.

So, that’s about it for this week. This weekend I have a sports day at one school, and a culture day at another, so I’m pretty much booked. Aside from that, I expect to play piano, play Zelda, and hang out with some Hachinohe people. I’ll update you next week.

The Soccer Tournament and my Weekly Schedule

Hello.

This past weekend I went to Nagano for the JET soccer tournament. It was open to all of Eastern (Northern, in Actuality) Japan, hosted by the JET community. Each prefecture sends its team of JET Men and Women, and they soccer it out against each other and other teams, such as the British Embassy (who, true to stereotypes, kicked ass and made it to 2nd place), Gaspanic Bar employee members, and the random Canadian team who flew in and destroyed us in the first round. At least they were nice about it, eh.

So, my team, Aomori United, never practiced. Hey, it’s sort of hard when people live 2 1/2 hours away. Unfortunately, we had a really hardcore couple of people on the team who couldn’t let go of the fact that we were just in it for fun. Well, I think they let go of it after we lost the first 3 games. Over the course of those games, though, our team pulled together and got a lot better. Good enough, in fact, to beat the Gifu team in the first game on Sunday. Ok, I should probably also admit that we had our secret weapon, a Japanese guy who actually plays soccer, arrive that day. Eh, I’ll take it. The girls team kicked ass this year, taking the 3rd place trophy and 24 rack of beer.

To get to Nagano, a good 10 hour drive away, we hired a bus. I actually thoroughly enjoy long bus rides, so I had a good time talking with people, relaxing, and trying to sleep. On the way back, I even played Mario Kart with some people on their DS’s. On the way back, though, I didn’t make it home until 3:30 am, and I had to get up for work at 7:30 am. I was surprisingly chipper on Monday, but these past couple of days I have really felt my sleep debt.

Not much happened aside from soccer-playing. The hotel we stayed at was pretty good. They had a celebration one night- it was like being back in America. Everyone in the place was a foreigner. They even had a makeshift club set up. It was really cool, some of the people actually break-danced! Honestly, that’s about it, not much else happened.

Actually, I did run into my friend Chris from Gifu, so that was cool.

Monday I hung out with Grahame in Oirase. We went to Shimoda mall for dinner. Since I was hungering for something American-style, I went with the double big-mac at McD’s. I knew looking at it that it symbolized a reduction of 2-5 months of my life, but I couldn’t resist it. Oh tasty double big-mac, with your beef patties surrounded by layers of delectable cheese, why must you taste so amazing? It felt like someone shot me with a bear tranquilizer. A delicious, artery-clogging bear-tranquilizer.

I also got a 1kg bag of Kellogg’s Corn Flakes at the foreign food store there. And some real pasta sauce. Go America.

Since I don’t have much about the weekend, I’ll write to you about some of the clubs and activities I’m doing.

On Monday nights, I have Shorenji Kempo. A type of martial art I joined last week. It was a good first night, and it’s somewhat similar to the Shaolin Kempo Karate I did back in the US, so I’m able to pick up on the movements very quickly. The students are very friendly, and I think I’ll continue going on Mondays.

Tuesday nights I have Japanese class. There are a ton of international people from all over the are who come. I’m in level 2 out of 6, but I am bumping up to level 3 next week. Level up! After class, all of the JETs get together for dinner. We usually alternate between the Golden Palki (a middle-eastern restaurant I talked about in a past post) and Takko’s, a sort of Hawaiian diner-ish place that has been rumoured to have been a love hotel before changing hands.

Wednesday night I have mandatory hang-out time with a small group (maybe 6 or 7) Japanese people. They are all previous NOVA students. NOVA is a private English conversation organization targeted at adults. It’s famous for closing down a few years ago, pretty much dumping all of it’s employees, leaving them jobless and having to pay for their own ticket home. It’s somewhat frustrating because the people back home who know this automatically think the same could happen to JET. If they did the research and found out JET was a government program and read up on it…but that’s just a little pet peeve of mine. Anyways, the group has a pretty good level of English, so it’s really fun talking to them. They are also from all walks of life (we’ve got a Japanese Teacher, a Port Worker, and so on), so it’s great to get their view on things. I’m going to make them PB&J sandwiches this week to see how they like them. I also have piano lessons this day that I’ll start up once I get my digital piano.

Did I mention I’m buying a digital piano? I’m wicked excited! I’m looking at the Yamaha YDP-160. It’s got digital graded hammer effect (so it feels more like piano, the bass keys are slightly harder to push down and the weights used are realistic), the sounds are sampled from a piano played at soft, medium, and hard strikes (the wavelengths slightly change depending on the volume and strength of a player’s strike, and this simulates it much better than just one sound sample), and it comes with a sustain pedal that can half sustain (many times digital pianos do all or nothing sustain, but for things like Debussy pieces, the half-sustain is great for that dreamy sound). I’m looking at some today, and I’m hoping to make a purchase after comparing prices. I really can’t wait.

Thursday nights I have (or should I say had) Capoiera class. This is the coolest class and the saddest one I have to give up. We practice for an hour and a half, and then we “play” (they don’t use the word “spar” because you don’t actually fight) with the master. How does this go? He jumps around, does some handstands that transform into kicks, dodges your attacks by flipping backwards or falling, only to land on his hand and put the rest of his body parallel to the ground. It’s wicked fun! The only problem is that I don’t have the time for it. I don’t have any alone time to myself, and that alone time is something that I need to thrive. I figure that, since I’m only going once a week, and I’m already ridiculously inflexible, it will take a long time to get to where I want to be, and it is the best one to give up. I’m not happy about it, but I recognize that I have to do it.

And that’s the end of my week. Good times, eh? There’s certainly enough to do around here, the problem is that it’s too much! There is so much I want to do, and think I would be good at, and not enough time- not nearly enough. Arg, a little frustrating.

This weekend is the Culture Seminar, then I’ll be camping out in Hashikami mountain with Nick, Paul, and one of Nick’s friends. I’m looking forward to it. We’ve also got Monday off for a holiday. Woohoo!

Even further ahead, I’ll be traveling to China around Christmas time. Oh, you poor goyim with your family obligations might not understand what exactly this means, so let me break it down for you. See, on this public holiday, my brethren and I do not put flammable forestry, bedecked with electrical, heat-emitting lights and hollow metal balls just waiting to be turned into deadly shrapnel, in our homes. Nor do we place presents beneath these death traps. Instead, we order Chinese food and go to the movies when no one else is there.

Flash forward to Christmas 2008. I will not be ordering American-style Chinese food. I will be eating 100% AUTHENTIC CHINESE CUISINE, in CHINA. That’s like, a 300% increase in awesomeness right there! Now, if I watch a Chinese movie, in China, while eating heavenly Chinese food, I get at least a x3 or x4 score multiplier. Ladies and gentlemen, I will have reached the pinnacle of what American Jews can only dream of. My facsimile of this time-honored tradition will, in fact, be greater than the original. I can’t wait.

A small Random Japan, just for you.

1.) Japanese people, much like the Singaporeans I observed, always back into their parking spots. Whether it is a home, at a store, or even when you can pull straight through.

2.) There is an office worker in training who was just hired. He is 18 years old, and I'm pretty sure I scare the crap out of him. I try to start a conversation in Japanese, most of the time I even just stick with a "Hi," if I'm feeling lucky, I'll even put in a "How are you?" but he just sort of looks away, or bows and runs away if I'm saying something especially threatening (eg. the latter of the 2 questions).

3.) My superpower needs to be the ability to create cameras out of thin air. We just got back from a fire-drill. Fire-drills here are a little different from those back home. After evacuating the building, we all stood around an iron shelf that the firefighters filled with gasoline and lit on fire. They then showed us how to use the fire extinguishers. They then had audience participation, relighting the fire about 7 times for different people to extinguish. Then they took volunteers. Of course, my coworkers wanted me to give it a try, so in front of the entire building (I'm gonna guestimate about 150 people), I extinguished a fire. They even applauded too.

Afterwards about 4 different people stood up and gave speeches. You can't have anything happen here without a speech. And then we all piled back into the building.

The end of September/beginning of October

Hello Again.

Things are going well in Japan. Tuesday the 23rd was another national holiday. The night before, I went to a restaurant called Bon with some Misawa JETs. Here’s an interesting bit about Japan, they have tons and tons of small restaurants. Hmm, maybe you’re not understanding me, some restaurants only hold one or two tables and about 5 bar seats. Ah, now you understand, much better. Anyways, Bon is fairly renowned among the JET community in this area. So, I went with pretty high expectations.

And they were fully delivered. The owner, Kappa, speaks pretty good English, and he has decorated his restaurant with really cool Indian art. There are a few scrolls with pictures of Shiva, a few statues of Ganesh, and some great mood lighting. Another very interesting part about Bon, you never ask for a specific dish on the menu. Ignore the menu and just ask Kappa for a “Dinner Plate.” This sends Kappa into a frenzy of slicing, dicing, and cooking that (from what I’ve heard) always ends in something delicious. That night was no exception. Kappa whipped up some sort of spicy curry thing, quail eggs, rice (it’s Japan, of course), lamb in a red wine sauce, and green things (vegetable are not my forte, nor are they important for you, kiddies). Oishii (delicious)! After some good political conversation (JET participants are mostly liberal so far) I went back home and skyped some friends.

For the actual national holiday, I picked up my friend, Nick, from the Hachinohe bus station (he spent the weekend in Tokyo) and we explored Hachinohe all day. Unfortunately, on the way home from Tokyo, he put his backpack on the wrong bus, and we almost had to drive to Towada (about a 45 minute drive away) to pick it up. Luckily, the Japanese are extremely helpful in these situations, and his backpack somehow (I’m going to go with Japanese Shinto Magic) made it back to the Hachinohe that afternoon. That gave us more than enough time to check out the exotic city of Hachinohe.

In the mall at the bus-stop, we spent some time wandering around the Fantasy Dome. We played a few arcade games. The shooting game based on the Silent Hill Videogames was actually all in English, including the voice acting. The game where the music actually mattered, a Taiko Drum rhythm game, didn’t have a single English song. Too bad.

In downtown Hach, we found a variety of cool things. There was a very cool bakery called Sweet Pea that offered small set meals for lunch. It might be a chain. There were also a few people staring at us, as usual. We also passed by a mural outside a hair salon that was pretty damn cool. It had a space-station in the background with this long-haired Viking God in the front and a small earth in the corner. It made me want to get a haircut.

We also passed by a pachinko parlor named “Concert Hall,” that I confused for a real concert hall. Pachinko is a whole post in itself, so I’ll just leave it as this: I should have known what it was from the façade, multicultural posters, and the look of ennui on the old people’s faces.

Afterwards, we went to an arcade, which I will now refer to as The Segadrome. Ok, you’d think that, if Sega owned this place, it would have at least one game with Sonic. Nope. I even saw Mario in there, but no cute blue hedgehogs. It was actually really cool to see how something can take off so much in one country, and totally flounder in another. This emporium of games was filled with people. And things that you would never see in America! For instance, there was a woman (somewhere in her 30’s-40’s) who was just watching her boyfriend/husband playing a driving game. She was standing there, stroking his hair and encouraging him, game after game. I can vaguely sort of see that in America, but only if I stretch my imagination and try to suspend the stereotypes that we’ve grown up with.

Their arcade games are so much more advanced than ours are, too. Remember Magic the Gathering? That card game from awhile ago that still lives on today? Well, they’ve taken that about 4 or 5 levels past what we’ve got. You can actually buy cards, put them on this gridded table in front of you, and the monitor you are staring at actually picks up which card you put down and creates a 3D visualization of it, the battlefield, and everything that is happening at once. Spells are flying all around, and as you move your cards in real time, so the monitor shows what happens. Your dragon was kicking so much ass until the computer summoned that huge magic eye, that you tried to counter but couldn’t, that paralyzed the dragon that was attacking the sprite who was casting haste on the… Yeah, all of that in real time. Wicked cool.

One more thing about their magical arcades. They are training children to gamble. There are many games where you slide in your tokens in order to mess up this order of tokens that might push down other tokens which you will get. It’s pretty basic, but it prepares them for pachinko later in life.

That night, I went to my coworker’s house for dinner. Shimotai-san has a great family. They were really nice and I hope I can get dinner with them again soon. They made sukiyaki, where they get a lot of vegetables and various kinds of meat, throw them in a hot plate-thing with a lot of soy sauce, and let it cook on the table while everyone uses their chopsticks and dips in. It doesn’t end there, though. You then dip whatever it is you picked out into raw egg. It was actually really good and, hey, no salmonella yet.

After Tuesday, it was just regular work for the rest of the week and activities after work.

Here’s the story for this past weekend. On Friday, the 26th, I went with Erin, Seth, and Wade to an izakaaya. It’s an all you can eat and drink place. Yes, you can keep ordering for two hours. It’s amazing. Plate after plate of appetizers, pitchers of beer, and as many cocktails as you want. We had some good palaver, and at the end of 3 hours, Erin, Seth, and I took a taxi to my place. Seth and Erin stayed the night so that we could wake up early and go to the Takko Garlic and Beef Festival the next day.

And go we did! We made it to Takko and ordered our raw beef and garlic. We then proceeded to one of the many outdoor grills and grilled our meat. There were a lot of other JETs there, and even more Misawa military folk. Even in the midst of all of these white people, one Japanese man still snuck next to Seth and tried to get a picture without “that white person knowing.” Well, we noticed this weird man posing behind Seth, and Seth joined in with his peace sign. I’m pretty sure he made that man’s day. We also got a few pictures with the high school students who were cleaning the grills, they were funny.

Ok, enough of Takko. Back into the car we went, all the way to Hachinohe University to hang out with the university students. The event was billed as an anime/manga exchange, but we really just talked and hung out. Afterwards, we all went to an Indian place for dinner. It was cool hanging out with the students, it’s just unfortunate that I don’t speak enough Japanese yet to carry on a long conversation. Regardless, it was cool hanging around them.

Afterwards, Seth, Erin, a Japanese woman named Etsuko, and I decided to hit up an onsen. You may remember my feelings towards onsens from my first post. Well, regardless, we still went. Yep, time to get naked. I had my modesty towel in hand and went from pool to pool, soaking in and relaxing as best I could.

Sunday, I cleaned my room a little, ran a few errands, and met up with my friend Grahame in Oirase. We went to Shimoda mall very quickly so I could check out electric pianos. Afterwards, we drove to downtown Hach, met up with Tina, Mark, and Wade, totally by accident sat down for a drink in the outdoor ramen/bars. Since I couldn’t drink since I was driving, I opted to eat the random sea animal. It looks like a really intense heart with spikes growing out of it. That’s about all I can say. The waitress chopped it up, and I began to eat a pretty gross whatever it was. General impression? In the words of Grahame:
“I would eat it if I were starving, but I’m not starving.”

Afterwards, Grahame and I got Ramen at another outdoor place, and I drove him back to Oirase. Another weekend done.

Yesterday, Tuesday, after Japanese classes, I got dinner with Wade and all of the Japanese teachers, many of whom speak English. There is one teacher who is hilarious, and she’s even on facebook! She kept asking Wade and I to come up with a trendy American name for her. She couldn’t pronounce Gertrude, which was a tragedy. So we gave her the name Rachel. I got lunch with her and another teacher (who happens to work in my building) today. It was a lot of fun. Now, I’m back in the office, about to talk to with supervisor. That’s about it for this week. See you.

Quick Update about after work today.

I went to Hibarino Sports Park in Gonohe to prepare for the soccer tournament this weekend. Seth and I were wandering around the fields looking for a team that would take us in and let the weird foreigners play. We found a group of middle-school kids who let us join their practice. Yeah, you know when you and your gaijin (foreigner) buddy are huffing and puffing while the Middle-School kids are barely breaking a sweat, you aren't prepared for a soccer tournament. I felt my age already, at one point Seth and I just looked at each other and said, in unison "I'm so out of shape." Dear god, and I'm only 22.

The students were really nice, though. Too nice, almost. One time, I was on the halfway mark of their field, and everyone spread apart (now I know what Moses felt like) and just shouted "Shoot! Shoot!" Really? Now? Ok, well if you're all going to spread before me, then sure. Other times, they would pass to Seth when there was no good reason to pass to him. The other team would move away from him and let him dribble up to the goal. It was like they were just playing with us. It didn't matter though, it was so much fun. We got some practice in, they were having a great time playing with the foreigners, and we even have an open invitation to join their practice whenever we want! It was so cool, and to me it was another example of how easy to put yourself out there and get taken in by the community, as long as you can take the first step.

After soccer, I went home, showered, and headed to a Brazilian restaurant downtown for dinner with a friend. As expected, the dinner was good. I had some sort of corned beef hash and fried rice thing with a sunny-side down egg. I'm not sure how Brazilian that is, but it tasted good enough. The only problem is, halfway through the dinner, my entire Capoiera class came in and caught me playing hookey! Dammit, why did I have to choose the only Brazilian haven in the city and have the Brazilian Martial Art club come in that night! Ah well, it was all good fun, anyways.

Mountains, Moonshine, Monks Mackin' it, and the Fated Hydra Battle

Hello Faithful Readers,

As a quick note, since this is also my journal for when I get back home to the US, you’ll run across boring, dry reminders that are just for me to remember what exactly I did. So, if you see a few dry sentences that read like facts in a textbook, it’s just for future me.

You already read about my somewhat frustrating week last week, so now I’ll amuse you with the craziness of this weekend. Actually, Friday night was not exciting at all; I drove my friend Nick to the bus station for his overnight bus to Tokyo. Since my apartment is right　next to main train station in Hachinohe (it’s actually the last stop on the Shinkansen, the superfast bullet train to Tokyo), many times people will ask to park in my apartment’s parking lot and go to the station. Unfortunately, the Shinkansen is fairly expensive, so people take the night bus to Tokyo instead.

Saturday I hung out with Helen (now proud owner of a couch) and Seth (now proud owner of a DS). I (now proud owner of a red Frisbee) don’t have any pictures…a common theme in this blog (but I’m adding them slowly but surely, check out last week’s post for photos of the shrine). After the shopping spree, we went to Tanesashi beach. It was a bit cold, so instead of jumping in the water or playing Frisbee, we climbed rocks! It was wicked fun, I’ll definitely be back again. I had to do it barefoot, but it was worth it for such a great view of the ocean and the sense of adventure.

Alright, since I can’t convey my fun with words, I’ll just move onto the main course of this post. Zazen Meditation. I was invited by some Shichinohe JETs (Sheech for short) to go to Zazen Meditation. How could I turn that down? So, I arrived in Shich at 7 and off to the Buddhist temple we went. The monk spoke great English, and he proceeded to enlighten us about meditation.

Aside from the strict set of rules (sit on the cushion like so, bow so many times, only turn clockwise…), one thing stood out in our Gaijin minds. “When you feel me place the wooden board on your shoulder, bow and lean forward.”

“Why?”

“Because when I hit you, I do not want to …Eigo de nan desu ka?...attack…your bone.”

We must’ve looked puzzled, because he invited one of his weekly temple-goers to demonstrate. Ok, stick on the shoulder, he bends forward, and *SMACK!* The priest smacked the him on the back with his wooden board. Well, at least he was careful not to hit the bone.

Can I share with you one thing? It’s bloody hard to meditate when you’re anticipating a monk attack! The monk broke the meditation down to two 20 minute meditations. No smacking on the first 20 minutes. During our 5 minute break, he warned us that sometime during the next 20 minutes, he would hit us.

Why would he hit us, you may wonder? “To remind you that your body is in this place.” Yeah, that’s all the explanation we get.

So, he did come around hitting all of us the next round of meditation. It actually didn’t hurt that much.

After the meditation was over, they brought out all of these small tables and platters of food and drink. It was great! We all sat around just talking, drinking up beer and moonshine, eating gyoza, jelly soda (fanta+jello), fried ocra, and so on. You noticed the moonshine? Yes, the monk’s friend makes moonshine. Delicious moonshine. The woman I was sitting next to, the monk’s sister, actually lived in England for 2 years and spoke some pretty good English. Random fact of the night: the woman who ran the monk’s sister’s accommodation knew Sean Connery. Even better, Sean Connery asked her to marry him and she turned him down! Random eh?

After the surprise dinner, they wanted to take us out to karaoke. Since Shich is such a small town, the only karaoke around was in a snack bar. How to describe a snack bar… Ok, well, there are these women who work at the snack bar, right? And these women dress provocatively, ok? Now, at the snack bar, you pay a little extra for drinks for the woman, as well as a sitting charge for just being in the establishment, not to mention all of the drinks and food you buy for yourself. Now, these women don’t actually do anything. The most you will do with them is talk and maybe dance. So, you are pretty much paying for conversation and a big tease.

Apparently Japanese men don’t get frustrated by this. Especially the monk, if you catch my drift. Out of all of the Japanese men there, he was mackin’ it with two or three of the workers. He would sing a few (I’m assuming) heart-wrencing, tragic songs, and then the women would swoon. He danced with a few, had his arm around a few, and just when he was about to…I don’t know, maybe talk with them more?...he fell asleep. Yep, he passed out right on the couch. His friends/followers picked up where he left off, and as we were leaving for the night, one of them was drunkenly conducting his woman’s singing.

Brandon is about to give that sleeping monk payback for that wooden board...

So, I partied with a Buddhist monk. I don’t know how I feel about that. I always thought they would abstain from certain earthly…I don’t know, carnal pleasures? What I mean to say is, seeing the monk in plain clothes, drinking up with his arm around a few women, certainly made me view him with less marvel than I did at the beginning of the night.

Anyways, I stayed the night in Shich (no driving after the beeru), and the next morning drove back to Hach to quickly change into my hiking clothes and head for a mountain in Nanbu town (Mt. Nakuidate?)

Two of the Shich JETs from last night, along with Erin from Hach (self-dubbed, “Crazy Miss Hach”) jumped in the car, and we began our drive. Little did our group know the epic proportions of our adventure that day.

Driving to the mountain, everything seemed normal. Lush trees, rice fields, Japanese people. Everything was going according to plan. But then...

“What’s that over there?!” A DRAGON! No, it was no simple dragon, the beast had 3 great heads.

“ ‘Tis not a dragon, ‘tis a fearsome hydra!”

We had no choice. Although the road stretched out before us towards the mountain, there was no way we could battle fate. Our destiny called for us to climb to the top of the dragon and slay it.

We arrived. There was a restaurant near the beast, filled with people I only assume were hiding from the hydra in fear of their lives. We walked towards it, boldly purging any liquid fear we had at the conveniently located restrooms near said hydra.

As we drew nearer, there was a man, the first obstacle in our way. He said something in Japanese that I could only assume was “Hark, fellow travelers, save the poor children from the beast’s fearsome rule.” Erin had us all pay 400 yen, probably a “save the village relief fund.” Anyways, he let us through, and our adventure began.

We met the dragon head on, all of us running, battle-hungry, through the dragon’s mouth to rescue the children from inside its cavernous bowels.

It turns out, the dragon’s insides were constructed of metal rings with rope, allowing us to easily climb through it and to the top of the dragon. After rescuing some children, we made it to the top and took some great pictures. I cannot even describe the battle that took place, the hydra tried to play tricks on us, the floors were slanted, passageways were closed off, but we prevailed! We also scored some cool pictures.

Ok, with the hydra slain, we continued on our path to hike. Not soon after, we ran into a joint Buddhist and Shinto temple. It was huge and gorgeous. I wish we had architecture like this back home. I’ve always loved Eastern architecture, and this was perfect. The courtyard had beautiful statues and the main body of the temple was full of huge, elaborate artifacts. This temple also has the largest 3-story pagoda in all of Japan. Unfortunately, you can’t go inside. We all made some small donations and prayers to the gods, and moved on. Just check the pictures, which don’t nearly do justice to the ambience.

Ok, dragon-slain, temple-prayed at, all that was left was the mountain. It took us a good 45 minutes to climb to the top. It was a great hike. There isn’t much to explain, it was a hike, but we got a beautiful view from the top.

Afterwards, we drove to Gonohe to meet up with Seth, Helen, and Melissa for a little horsemeat dinner. How is horsemeat? It’s actually pretty good. It has a different flavor from meats you’ve had before. It’s like beef with extra flavor. It was actually really delicious. So we sat around and talked and ate. It was a great end to the day.

……but does the dragon still stir?

Your favorite, Random Japan:

The first time I was able to drive my car, I turned on the radio to get a taste of Japanese music:

Who's the black private dick
That's a sex machine to all the chicks?
(Shaft!)
You're damn right.

Japanese music is the theme from Shaft? Isaac Hayes, have you been lying to us this whole time? Or is it just that, at 7 in the morning on the way to work, the average Japanese listener really digs listening to the Isaac Hayes Marathon? Well, no complaints here.

Last week I needed a haircut. I drew a careful diagram as to how I wanted my hair to look. I think it was pretty good. After 30 minutes of careful cutting, I actually had a great trim. The barber was really exact, often making the most miniscule cuts to get it just right. And I thought I was done.

Not so. His wife comes from out of nowhere and somehow signals that she’s going to shampoo my hair. So far so good, right? I’m getting a nice wash, she dries my hair, puts in obscene amounts of tonic (which shall henceforth be called, head-burninating solution) and began to apply lather.

Good, I’ll get a shave for the back of my hair, sort of like when I got my hair cut at Puglisi in DC. Again, totally normal. Then, she lathers my cheeks. Hey, a full shave, even better, I’ve never had this before! Then, she lathers my neck. Still totally normal. Then, she lathers my…ears? Ok, shave the outside of my ears, I never liked my peach-fuzz there anyways! Then she lathers my…forehead? What are you pulling on me you crazy old woman?! I know I don’t have hair on my forehead. I don’t even have peach-fuzz. What are you doing? Up, no time to think, she put warm towels on my face. Very comfortable warm towels. I could just fall asleep.

Oh, it’s over? That’s too bad, I was just getting into the groove. Are you sure there isn’t still some hair on my ears somewhere? Ah well, it was good while it lasted. It was a good hour-long trip to the barbershop. I can’t wait to go again.

Shigga Shigga

Hello Everyone. Well, I had a great weekend to write about, but first I'm ticked off right now, so you have to read about this first. I was teaching at an elementary school today, and one of the 5th grade students comes from the US (mom is Japanese, dad is American, they divorced) and has been here a year. He's causing trouble at home and crying every night, and they want me to talk to him and find out what is going on. Ok, I can do that, I was a "Big Brother" in High School, I majored in Psychology, I read about therapies for fun, and therapy is sort of what I want to do with my life.

So, they take me to the principal's office and everything goes to shit. First of all, another JET comes and wants to watch me talk to the kid. Then, the teacher wants to sit in and watch as well, like all it will take for the child to open up is the presence of another American, and that PEOPLE STARING AT HIM won't be a problem at all. The teacher got the hint to leave, and I start talking to the kid. I'm just talking to him in the beginning, trying to find out what he likes, trying to build a rapport, joking about how Japanese can't pronounce words, etc. Well, I get a few giggles out of him and I'm sort of making headway, regardless of the limited time I have to figure out all of this child's problems.

Then, the principal comes in. He walks in, says a few words, and sits at his desk doing work.

Oh, you've noticed the kid is nervous and sweating profusely? Well, Mr. Principal, I'm glad you thought that the best thing to do would be to rub the kid's shoulders and tell him not to worry. Yeah, that was really helpful. Hey, while you're at it, why don't you tell him not to be sad and solve all of our problems in one fell swoop?

Now the kid, still sweating profusely and not even giving occasional eye contact anymore, is totally shut. One-word answers and everything. I decided to give him my email and phone in case he wanted to hang out sometime, but I'll probably initiate the first step next week if he's willing to see me. Just as I'm wrapping up, the teacher from the beginning comes in because she decided it would be best if she was around to watch too. Great job with the emotional-understanding deficit, Japan. Do you wonder why your suicide rate is ridiculously high?

So, I wasn't able to magically help out the child like they wanted, and they asked what I suggested and how they could help and how the mother could help. I told them that there isn't much they can do, with the recent divorce and subsequent move to another country (where he has to pick up the language, which he can speak but not read and write), there's a lot going on with him that they can't help on their own. I suggested a child psychologist. Really, if they are going to treat him the way I watched (talking about him but not to him etc.), he's never going to get better.

Afterwards, the JET apologized for being in the same room, and we talked about what was happening. He enlightened me that the whole "emotionally helping other people" thing is not something Japanese are good at, preferring to do things such as a quick massage and daijoube ("don't worry"). Part of it is the cultural thing of keeping everything inside instead of any outbursts...hence the high number of suicides. It's not that their hearts aren't in the right place, it's just that they have no idea on how to help or empathize.

Ok, now that that is off of the chest, I can fill you in on everything I've been up to lately.

Friday night I met up with some friends who were on their way to Hokkaido (the northernmost prefecture) for dinner and to drop them off at the ferry. We went for yakiniku- a restaurant where you cook small slices of meet on a grill at your table. We had some great conversation about how Palin is the scariest woman alive (unless you were friends with her in High School), how McCain totally changed all of his stances post-campaign (check out this link for a great Daily Show segment on the life of McCain), and pretty much everything politics.

After dropping them off at the ferry, I went downtown to meet up with some Hach JETs (Big Mike, Paul, Mark, Tina, Erin, and Wade). I met up with them at a restaurant and we went to another bar with darts, pool, and nintendos. I couldn't drink since I was driving, but it seemed like downtown Hach would be a lot of fun to explore next time, when I'm not driving. I did pretty well at pool, and Wade and I won both games.

I got home around 2:30 and I'm getting into bed. Around 3 am my phone buzzes:

“Hello?”
“Hey Greg, it’s Paul.”
“Oh, hey…What’s up?”
“Dude, someone’s hand just reached in my window and I’m freakin’ out.”
“What?”
“I was sleeping and I woke up and this hand appeared above my head, it was coming through my window. I screamed “OY” and whoever it was ran away. I think I was dreaming it, but I couldn’t have, it seemed too real.”
“Whoa, that’s really creepy.”
“Yeah man, I can’t sleep anymore, I can’t believe that happened. What if someone is still out there? I thought it was a woman, I saw a pony tail, but I don’t know…it could have been Yakuza or something. Sorry to wake you up and everything, I’m just freaked out”
“Hey, don’t worry about it.”
And so the conversation continued. He called again at 5am and we talked some more. He also called about 3 or 4 other JETs too, so some of us didn’t get good sleep. The next day Paul and his supervisor checked his window, someone broke the screen and everything. They fixed the window and got a lock for the glass part, but I think Paul is still a bit shaken. Luckily I’m on the fourth floor, so no one will be reaching their hand through my window, all that can happen is the voyeur with the binoculars across the way.

The next day (Saturday), I went to an all-you-can-eat Yakiniku place with many of the Hach JETs. I couldn’t read the signs for what each meat was, so I just piled them all on my plate and began the grillin’. After a few refills and some ice cream, I was pleasantly stuffed. Afterwards, I went to Lapia Mall (home of the infamous Fantasy Dome, surely you’ve heard of it) to watch a Brazilian festival. Paul’s Capoeira class was doing a performance, and I got to meet them backstage. Capoeira is a Brazilian martial art that is dance-like, and instead of sparring in the traditional sense, they sort of dance together, attacking and dodging to make a dance-like sparring match. The people really cool, and I’m going to a class tonight to check it out. It seemed like a very chill group.

Afterwards, I got some Mos Burger (ridiculously small burgers, but they have different flavors like the ebi-burger, tonkatsu-burger, and so forth), and headed home to clean the apartment. Exciting, eh? Well, I taped up the bottom of the entranceway to my shower, where I suspected those pill-bugs were coming from. Oh, I haven’t mentioned this, but lately I had a small pill-bug posse in my apartment. After taping up their suspected entrances, they haven’t made a return, so I think I took care of them. After cleaning, I saw my friend Saki online and we talked for awhile, then I headed to bed.

Sunday I tried surfing for the first time! It was wicked fun. Grahame in Oirase brought two surfboards, so Brandon and I went to Oirase and began learning the venerable art of surfing. We only lasted about an hour in the freezing water, but Brandon was almost standing up, and I was able to catch some waves lying on my stomach. Sadly, we won’t be able to go surfing again until Spring, but I can’t wait until we do. The beach itself was surprisingly ugly. There were tons of concrete jacks to protect against tsunamis (which the Northern Part of Japan doesn’t really get…it’s just a way for the government to stimulate economic growth by paying for construction).

After surfing I saw Wanted, which is great for some mindless action, then headed home for some sleep.

The next day, Monday, was a day off (Respect for Old People’s Day), and I went to a festival at Yawata shrine near the outskirts of Hachinohe city. It was really cool, there was an archery competition for the middle and high schools, and I’ve got some great pictures from that. The shrine itself was gorgeous. I also paid 100 Yen to get a card with my luck and advice on it. My luck is “Good,” so I think I’m pretty set for awhile.

A young woman shooting in the competition. Japanese traditional archery is called Kyudo.

A place to pray at the shrine.

We really just walked around the shrine that day, eating festival food, doing festival things, and in general having a good time. Afterwards, we went to the coolest pizza place ever in the uptown development of Hachinohe New City. Brick oven pizza is already awesome, and the place itself had great ambience and music. At night, it appears that there will be live music, so I really want to go and check out the bar.

A monk walking through the shrine.

After driving home, I rested for a bit, cooked some dinner while watching The Office online, and went to sleep. It was a really good weekend.

This week in Random Japan:
I have a coworker who I think is hilarious. About once a week, when I’m going on a trip to school or something, everyone will say some incomprehensible Japanese as a goodbye. Not him. He stands up and does the “get some” signal, his arms pumping in and out from his hips and his bottom half gyrating back and forth. Does he know what he’s doing? I don’t know. Is it hilarious? Of course! It’s a middle-aged Japanese salaryman signaling me to get some action, saying something that sounds like “shigga shigga.” I am pretty much crying every time.