May Madness

Yo yo yo, as they say....probably somewhere.


I've got great news for you all! I passed my Japanese Driver's License test! You know what, let's add a few more exclamation points (!!) to show just how excited I am. I'm so excited because usually they fail us foreigners a few times before they actually let us pass, but I did it in one go. Ohhhh, wait, let me back up a few seconds, you might think that that comment would be a derision against the Japanese License Test system. Well, it sort of is, but let me explain a little bit. I do not mean that previous comment to be mean or say they are racist, it is just a mere fact of the way the system works. So, close your eyes, hold your breath, and let's begin the driving test experience together.

The test includes a 10 question paper test. The paper test? Well, let me give you an example question that isn't exaggerated one bit (though, this is not a real question on the test, because somehow the government would find out, then I would be fined and lose my job, I'm guessing).


"When driving, I make sure not to drive over the Speed Limit." TRUE or FALSE (answer below).
(*True)


Ok, so that paper test was a breeze. Now, the big daddy of the test. You drive on a pre-made, insulated course. You must MEMORIZE the course before driving on it. If you ask the instructor where to go, at any point in the test, you fail. That's it. If you do not enter the car in the correct order, you fail. (Don't forget to start off checking the front and back of the car, to check for cats maybe? Then open the door slightly, check right and left, then fully open it, get inside). If you mess up the order, or, god forbid, turn off the car in the incorrect order, you fail. So, I spent a lot of time memorizing this course, and it paid off. I knew when to check left-right, when to stop, double-check. When turning there is a FIVE STEP PROCESS you must follow, or else, you guessed it, you fail. Look in the mirror, flick your turn signal, look in your sideview mirror, look over your shoulder, scootch the car over a little bit, wait a sec, then turn.

After doing my best to follow my memorized course, we finally ended. The instructor, I kid you not, gave me this assessment. "Well, you were good with safety, but you were slow with your blinkers sometimes. I'll need to think about it." Then, she asked the most important question of all "Where did you get lessons?"

"Hachinohe Motor School."


At this point, I'm pretty sure a huge *DING* went off in her head. Yes, say the magic words, "Hachinohe Motor School," and your chances of passing go through the roof! I did get a lesson with them, which was very helpful. So, half an hour later, after assessing whether or not my good safety technique vs. slow blinkers were acceptable, I was notified I passed! So much for the 4-7 times other people have taken. I win, Japan!

It was also quite nice to get lunch with Marti by the sea. She was kind enough both to translate the test, hang out, and confirm that Hokka Hokka Tei is not a good bento place. Not to mention being an all-around cool person. Thanks, Marti!

Alright, now that I own 2 different driver's licenses, what else could I possible write about? Hahaha, well, I think there was a little scandal going on at one of my schools. Again, names shall be spared, but I think there might have been an affair going on. JUICY, NE! Sorry, I can't say more than that, I honestly do believe the Japanese have a magical way of knowing anything I might commit to this blog, so vagaries is all ya get. Side note, it reminds me of my acquaintance, Bill, who used to think that, in 1st grade, his teacher could read his mind. He described how he would try to only think good thoughts about his teacher, with a maddening look on his face. I picture something like that and this blog. Only type nice things...Only type nice things, only type nice things, only type nices things...


In other teacher news, a teacher I've previously written about, who was denied her vacation to go to New York in order that she could help with a Christmas party for a school of 17 students, has FINALLY decided that she wants to get out of the system. She is planning on moving to LA and working at Starbucks. THANK WHATEVER BEING(S) YOU MAY OR MAY NOT PRAY TO. This made my week. I really hope that it's not just something she's saying and hoping for, but actively working towards.

This past weekend was busy again. I went clothes shopping. Yeah, painful, but one of the things you must do in life if you choose to wear clothes. I went with a small group so I could get advice (oh how I miss the expertise of Nii and Geoff, they would probably be ashamed at what I bought). I even tried to push the time back an hour, to minimize actual shopping time, but the shoppers were too savvy. "No Greg, we won't have enough time if we start at 1, we need to start at 12." "But guys, it's a scientific fact that shopping for more than 2 hours causes heart disease, and leprosy." "But those are curable, so we're going."

I did buy some great "Engrish" T-shirts. I was looking for last-year's best-seller "Touch my Truck" shirt, but I guess they didn't have it this year.

So, after the painful shopping, we went to see Erin's concert at City Hall. Support your friends and their school bands. It was really good. And that's about the best I can do describing music with writing. Suffice it to say, they beat Medway High School's band by 3-4 miles.

After that, we went to an izakaaya to celebrate both Erin's concert, and Wade's acceptance to Graduate School in Singapore. Congratulations to both of you! Then we all crashed at Natalie's house. The next morning, we were awoken by Erin's alarm at 7:15. "Ohayogozaimasu! Ohayogozaimasu! Ohayogozaimasu! (Good morning)" After comfortably falling back asleep, we were then awoken by Nick's alarm "Instrumental doodling." I think that's about the threshold for humans waking up. Two alarms and that's about it. So, we just lay around, played mario kart, then made our way for some doner kabobs. Afterwards, we went to my house to play DnD, got some dinner at a nearby ramen shop, and then called it quits. Phew.

RaNdOm JaPaN:
This weekend Jero, the African American Japanese Enka singer will be playing in Hashikami, a nearby town. This man is like a platinum record seller here in Japan. He's the first person of African descent to break into the Japanese music scene. You can wiki him for more info. Apparently though, it is unsurprising for Japanese people that someone so famous would come to such a small town (like, smaller than medway, I'm talking under 10,000 people), even though he so famous. I find it so hard to comprehend. In the US, the huge bands only go to big cities, to both please a larger fanbase, as well as make more money. I guess here, that is not the case? Regardless, I'm gonna see Jero, I'm gonna see Jero.